Criminal activity

Last fall, Rosie’s school had a very nice professional photographer come and take portraits of the kids as they played on the playground. She was great about capturing them in their natural habitat, so to speak, and got some great shots of Rosie that we purchased and distributed and so on and so forth. Her 2-year old class pictures! Hooray! Done and done.

Except not.

I kept seeing signs up on the doors from one of those bigger, lamer, generic photo studio places saying “School pictures next Tuesday!” and I thought surely they must mean class pictures, because we just had school pictures, right? Did I dream that? But nope—turns out it’s a twice a year dealio, with the first set of shots being actually good and the second set being set up against a faux-woodland backdrop with a log and a toad in the picture. Not even kidding. So when the sign up sheet went up for parents to designate which background they wanted for their kid, princess castle or beside a log with a baseball glove (???) I dutifully checked the baseball glove option (because WHY does everything for girls have to have a princess castle involved? WHYYYYYYY) and went on my merry way, totally planning to save my nickels and dimes when the proofs came back in and not purchase a one.

But here’s the other really dumb thing about this system. Big Box Studios has now decided to make all the prints of the photos from your child’s session in advance so you can just keep the ones you want and send the rest back. So every single kid got an envelope jam-packed with wallets and 8 x 10s and 5 x 7s before parents had even laid eyes on the shots. Waaaaaste of resources, yo.

Am I going off? I think I am. There is a point, hold on.

It occurred to me after I checked “All-Star” or whatever they called the baseball glove on the ground backdrop, that Rosie might not be very happy about it, or at the very least, that they would think I had misread the form. Because why would you check the obviously-meant-for-boys choice? Dummy. And sure enough, when the pictures came back, there was Rosie, pleased as punch, in front of a pastel pink princess castle, frog-friend at her side. And her face said it all:

How do you like them apples, Mom?

I have never laughed so hard.

P.S. We bought exactly zero of the prints, like the terrible tightwad parents that we are. But I did take a photo of each one before slipping it back into the envelope. I expect the authorities any minute. Write to me in jail.

P.P.S. Since I’m going to jail anyway, I’ll also show you this one:

I don’t know about you, but I want to be that girl’s friend. She looks like quite the kick in the pants.

P.P.P.S. OK, ONE MORE. I really am going to jail, aren’t I. At least I’ll get to wear stripes. I do have a thing for stripes.


6 comments

1 Leigh Ann Laney { 04.02.12 at 7:18 am }

BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! OMG, Rachel. I am SO with you! WTH is up with the totally RIDICULOUS backgrounds?? And last year the photographer did the same thing…sent home ALL the photos and you were supposed to send in the correct amount for the package you wanted and send back the correct amount of pictures you didn’t want. Uh…yeah. Sure. Whatever. I was SO tempted to keep all 40 pictures, and magnets, and bookmarks, etc. and not send any money. But alas, Sera was starring at me and begging me to keep the bookmark, and door hanger, and oh my GOSH! So I kept and PAID for them all. Shockingly, they did NOT do that this year. Hmmm…wonder why? 😉

If Sera had not been in the room I would had pocketed a picture and sent the rest back like you did!

Also, Rosie is ADORABLE! Did you train her to smile like that? Sera still does goofy smiles…

2 Stink { 04.02.12 at 7:39 am }

This is my favorite thing that has ever happened and my favorite pictures of Rosie that will send you to jail!

3 Elizabeth { 04.02.12 at 7:59 am }

Oh man, that backdrop is AWFUL! And so hilarious. Ha!

4 Allen { 04.02.12 at 11:24 am }

I’m a little skeeved out about giving back a bunch of pictures of your/ones kid to this company. I assumed that was the Criminal Activity you were referring to. Do we just trust that they are shredded or…

5 gmo { 04.03.12 at 4:27 pm }

I like the last one best maybe because there is so little background.

I doubt they’d send you to jail but they might claim – oh, I can’t say it. It’s too awful. Promise you’ll never do it again!

6 Dorothy { 04.05.12 at 9:18 am }

Those backdrops are ridiculous – ours aren’t that bad – mostly cheesy apple orchard and pumpkin patch scenes. But I NEVER order the pictures. I have the proofs framed on our refrigerator though – it’s REAL classy..they even have the word “proof” printed on them. My favorite photographer ploy was when they send home a freakin 8×10 of the cheesy pose and don’t offer any package options that don’t include the mega face. Ridic!

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