The weather is here, wish you were hot

Would you like to see a picture of my belly? No? Well, I’ma show you anyway. BOOM:

I am not much of a self-portrait poster, but dude, when you’ve got all that and a bag of Doritos (literally) going on in your front section, it just needs to be documented somewhere. So I chose … all over the internet. Like you do! As you can see, I am a master face-cropper-outer. The nose has not appeared yet, though I don’t think it’s far off. The wedding rings have officially been removed. It’s just too Southern winter damn hot, y’all. I remember the same weird warm weather thing happening the October I was pregnant with Rosie—it was time for fall, but just kept on being summer forever. This is my superpower: effecting climate change with my very girth. Sorry for debunking your movie, Al Gore.

Unlike my other two pregnancies, where I wanted to take a blowtorch to every single thread of my meager maternity wardrobe by the third trimester, this time I have tubs and tubs of overflowing outfits. I haven’t even worn them all. This is in part due to the generosity of five (5!) friends who all passed down their pregnancy wear and also the fact that I work for a pregnancy magazine and that kind of stuff just tends to be around, you know? So what I’m saying is: if you happen to get knocked up, and you are my general size (and I know you in real life and you live relatively near me), I got you covered. (Mostly I’m talking to one specific person who still technically owns 1/3 of these clothes.)(Who is not pregnant—that I know of—but I’m just making sure she knows I still have her back and am not offering her stuff to random people.)(Unless they offer me bags of cash.)(Haha just kidding.)(Mostly.)(Help, I am trapped in parentheses and I can’t get out.)

Anyway, what is my point? I don’t know. Mostly I’m just trying like beans to blog every day this week. Put some words into this URL. Show my face while cropping out my face and all that. In the meantime, I wonder: how are you? How is your dog? Isn’t this weather weird slash way too hot for people who are 34 weeks pregnant? How about that sports team? I love what you’re wearing. That color really brings out your eyes.

March 29, 2012   9 Comments