“Rosie! Come get your clothes off and get in the tub! Noah, have you done your homework? You want to do it in here? But—ok, fine. It’s parent quiz night? Um. Ok, what’s 5 times 4? ROSIE! COME! Yes, 20! Good job. Now what’s … 7 … times … 3? Rosie, do you need help with that? Well, it’s stuck on your head. Let me just pull it—close, buddy, but it’s not 28. Seven times three. Ok get in! Rosie. FOCUS. In the tub. Girlfriend do NOT stand on the side. GET IN. Yes! 21! Ok, what’s 16 plus 25? Rosie lean your head back. Whoops! Well, I said lean your head back! You’re ok. It’s just water. Good job bud. Ready for a hard one? Ok, what’s 15 times 4? Rosie hold still. You have to come closer to me, I can’t reach you. Oof. Yes, and if two fifteens are thirty, then four fifteens are … DO NOT DRINK THAT BATH WATER. I will get you Right Out. You know about that. Sixty! Yes! What do you mean you want them to be harder? That was a good one! Ok fine, what’s the square root of 1,387? Here’s your washcloth Ro—get some soap on it. Ok, ok, just joking. No square roots. Uhhhh, ok what’s 120 plus … 57? Rosie Mae Ellis if I see you sucking on that washcloth one more time you are getting out of the bathtub in one hot second. Whoa, you got that one fast! Ok, one more, then I have to get Rosie out. What’s 11 times 4? Rosie, let the water out, ok? No wait don’t put that washcloth—! Ro, you have to squeeze it out first. Here, here’s your towel out of the dryer nice and warm. Forty four! Yes! Well done. Go put your papers back in your bookbag. Ok crazy towel head, let’s go get jammies.
Wait, what year is it?
I know, I know, I already posted this on here, but you GUYS. It is like dance party central all up in my uterus, and the joint be jumpin‘.
P.S. I have Monday off from work! WHO IS EXCITED?? (Only me? Well, I have enough enthusiasm about it to go around.)