Right ’round baby right ’round

Monday afternoon I got The Call from Noah’s school, the Sick Kid Come and Get Him call that—though rare—never fails to make my heart plummet straight into my stomach at the first “Is this Noah’s mom? This is the school …” bit of greeting. He hadn’t felt well that morning, but was fever-free, so after liberal doses of hugs and “You’ll be alrights,” I sent him on his way, grim expression, slumped posture and all. Cruel, cruel mother that I am.

Except I actually was cruel, seeing as how he turned out to have a 102 fever once I got him home and in bed. Whoops.

So I planned to stay home with him on Tuesday and do my work from the computer, which, because my job is great (Which I may have said before? P.S. My job is great.) I can do. But then in the morning when I woke up, I turned to flip from my right side to my left and felt like the whole world was a merry go round, and I was not buckled into any safety, carnival-approved harness. Closing my eyes did not help. Opening my eyes did not help. Clutching the bed did not help, though it did make me feel much less like I was going to careen off into open space, so I did that. It took a few minutes for the feeling to go away, and I thought “Well! That was unpleasant! Glad that‘s over!” Because I like to trick my body into thinking things are Totally Fine when in fact I know in my gut that I was probably destined to insert another quarter for a second and third and fourth and fifth, etc. go around.

Sure enough, five minutes later I turned my head over again and Wheeeeeeeeeeeee I was back on the Tilt-a-whirl. Still, because I follow the stringent practice of willing myself to do things, even when they are stupid, I got up and did morning-type things, got Noah breakfast, and settled myself down with the computer to do some work. It only took an hour before I realized I had slid to almost horizontal on the couch and was peering at the screen with one eye squinted open a slit. Still (still!) I convinced myself that it was a temporary moment of funkiness and that I would be fine in a minute, right after I went to the bathroom and stretched and maybe also just threw up a little tiny bit. I have problems.

Turns out that in the earlier weeks of pregnancy you get this nice internal bath of hormones that make you 1. go crazy 2. cry at all the commercials 3. make you want to vom when thinking of your favorite food of all time and 4. relax your blood vessels in preparation for the 40-50 percent increase in blood volume that will eventually happen over the nine-plus months of pregnancy. Only, the relaxing happens before the increasing, which equals Dizzy City. That’s science! Sometimes, science sucks.

So today was a total bust. Noah watched approximately 2341 hours of TV while I languished at a 45 degree angle, not able to lie flat or be upright, focusing on the back of my eyelids with the fierce intensity of someone who is trying very hard not to revisit their breakfast. Luckily, now I am able to be at more of an 70ish degree angle, while looking at things. And also typing! Look at me type!

It looks like we’ll both be home again Wednesday, but hopefully with fewer episodes of Arthur and more uprightedness. But I’ll be back soon with stories of Seth, my Kentucky bar-friender, who helped me dupe all the people I work with into thinking I was matching them drink for drink while out on the town in Louisville, when in fact I was really more like the Maternity Mata Hari, pulling off a scheme that would qualify me for work in the CIA. True story.

7 comments

1 Elizabeth { 10.19.11 at 7:21 am }

That’s one side effect of pregnancy that nobody ever talks about! I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better. Can’t wait to read about Seth the amazing bar-friender!

2 Katy German { 10.19.11 at 6:57 pm }

I had it bad with both of mine. Not sure if it would work for you, but I kept some saltine crackers by the bed. In the morning, Thomas would hand me one and I would nibble it while not moving one single muscle. About 20 minutes and 1-2 crackers later, I could slowly sit up and start moving. Well, it worked for a while. Then I had to get some anti-nausea medicine, too. But the no-moving-anything-until-after-salty cracker-is-slowly-consumed approach seemed to work pretty well. Hang in there! :)

3 racher { 10.19.11 at 7:06 pm }

Thanks Katy! It seems to be better today, so I am fervently wishing it was a one-time deal. (Famous last words …)

4 Aunt Rachel { 10.19.11 at 7:16 pm }

I may have to stop reading your blog if you keep posting scary pregnancy stuff. You’re supposed to be telling me how wonderful it is!

5 racher { 10.19.11 at 7:27 pm }

What do you mean, scary? I was comparing my symptoms to being on a ride at a fair! Wheeeeee!!

6 Anjie { 10.19.11 at 9:49 pm }

Aunt Rachel,
It is mostly awesome…and the rest makes great stories if you can laugh about it. Plus, your husband will (should!) do stuff for you. All the stuff. That ever needs doing. For 9+ months. That makes it worth it. Plus the baby at the end.

7 Aunt Rachel { 10.20.11 at 7:46 pm }

Thanks Anjie, that’s what I was looking for. :)

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