The long-lost phone files of yestertime

I do this thing sometimes where if I’m in an awkward situation, like stuck in a small elevator with only one other person who also just happens to be the same person who saw me trip a second before while I was running to catch the open doors (for example), I take out my phone and pretend to be engrossed in some sort of Very Important Emailing and/or Other Sort Of Mobile Web Business. Which is ridiculous, because my phone is just about the most basic version of a phone you can get these days and can connect to the internet about as well as a tin can attached to a string tied to a computer cable. Recently though, while doing my pretend shame-hiding phone business, I flipped through the 25 or so photos on my cell and realized that I had a treasure trove of memories in the palm of my hand. It was kind of like this blog, shrunken down to miniature fun-size, except with less text and grainier images. There were wacky Rosie pictures, adorable pictures of my kids being adorably adorable, random pictures of ground beef—all the things I encounter on a daily basis. And then right there in the elevator with the Person Who Saw, a beam of light shone from above and angels sang and I heard a voice say, “Go. Go and share this with the internet.” Seeing as how I always listen to angel-choir-light-beaming-elevator voices, I got the notion that I would do just that, as soon as I got home and figured out how to get the pictures off my phone.

Ha ha HA, but did I sure not know how to do that. There was lots of button pushing and cable tangling and googling and cursing until finally I asked L if he would try to figure it out. He was much more persistent with his button-pushing-cable-googling-cursing and finally after way too many hours (ok, maybe one hour) got 14 of the photos onto my computer. Voila! And so now I share them, as directed by my elevator overlords.

As is true on most people’s phones, there are several images that were taken with a purpose. You know, to be sent to someone for a second opinion on your choice of Interview Hair.

Message: I have to leave in 5 min. Hair like this or down????

Reply: Definitely up.

(I wore it down. Every time, I do that. Every. Single. Time. And yet I cannot quit asking. I have some sort of disorder.)

Or sometimes the pic is for help with dinner menu selection:

Message: Hey, I’m making dinner. Would you like the regular spaghetti with meatballs, or DEATH?

(Also, we’re out of the regular spaghetti, so your choice is “or death.”)

Or sometimes it’s to be able to geek out over my amazing new job in a covert way so that no one there knows how hard I am working to Just Be Cool:

Message: Check it out! It’s my desk!!!!!!!!!!1!!!

This is what I texted on the first day while pretending to work very hard on serious grown up working-person things. (Ha ha ha ha…oh god, co-workers, please don’t ever read this.)

Or I might need to use a picture message as an important teaching tool. For example, I sometimes use this to proselytize to my unchurched friends:

Message: DON’T BE LIKE JONAH.

Ok, so I don’t really do that. But I am considering commissioning Noah to write a Bible comic book. I think it would be a best-seller.

Overwhelmingly though, the pictures on my phone were just images of things I wanted to capture when I didn’t happen to have my camera around. I try to be fairly vigilant about taking my camera with me everywhere (no, but everywhere), but that doesn’t always happen. Especially now that I am at my very serious job that I definitely do not geek out over during the day.

Like for example, I didn’t anticipate the photo opportunity that was my 7 month pregnant friend buying tequila at a liquor store when we were at the beach:

Or Noah rock climbing fearlessly. (I seriously almost cried when he begged to do this unexpectedly at a party on the Square in our town and I had not brought my camera. Because would you look at that kid? Once afraid of adhesive pictures of animals, but now scaling that wall like a fearless monkey. Yes. Sir. I was inordinately proud of him for doing this with such abandon on that day.)

And, of course, I could publish a large coffee table book filled with photographs of Rosie Mae being Rosie Mae.

But my very favorite of all my phone photos might be this one, taken one day on our way back from the playground:

GAH. Excuse me—I appear to have something in my eye. I will just be over there, taking care of it with my head hidden from your view while I do some very serious and important internet business from my totally and completely web-capable phone.

4 comments

1 Sam { 11.12.10 at 8:17 am }

You take some pretty great pics, on the camera and the phone! Thanks for sharing and as always, making me almost spit out some liquid beverage (coffee this time) due to laughter. Enjoy your day at your awesome desk doing important grown up things :-)

2 Leigh Ann { 11.12.10 at 9:18 am }

i’m glad i’m not the only one who texts pics of possible hair/ outfits to friends.

the beef pic….equal parts hilarious and disturbing.

3 Dorothy { 11.12.10 at 11:19 am }

BaaaHaaaaHaaaa

ditto on the beef comment leigh ann

also, I was scrolling down, and thought “that looks like my hair”…weird” and then kept scrolling….and then thought “oh no she di’int”. lovely. I had been wondering how Caleb was so calm…now I realize it must have been the tequila!

4 Lisa Hassell { 11.14.10 at 11:37 pm }

Rachel, your blog totally cracks me up. I’m attempting to get into writing somehow & you are my inspiration. No, really. This is great stuff. The beef pic? Best thing I’ve seen all day. Thanks for making me smile!

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