With apologies to the torsoless
There are two things that absolutely will happen when and if you start your own blog (and make it available to the general public): one, someone will make fun of you. Probably someone in your family. (Definitely someone in your family.) And two, you will start getting weird emails about hyping and/or giving away random stuff to your readers.
It’s pretty easy to decide whether or not you’re going to participate in a PR offer though, when the first sentence of the email says “Thought you would be interested in adding our appliance site as a resource for your readers, since you write about the home and your readers could use our site to get more information on being a do-it-yourselfer and repairing their kitchen appliances so they can get back to enjoying life.” CLEARLY they have not read my blog, because they would know that if I had a broken kitchen appliance, it would most certainly not be keeping me from enjoying life. It would be an excuse for BURRITOS, (Dishwasher’s broken again? This time let’s get cheese dip!) and burritos are always cause for celebration. So you know, offers like this make me quite wary of The Man.
However! This giveaway offer was too good to refuse. Cafepress contacted me to ask if they could send me and my kids a free shirt (of our choosing) from their massive and often hilarious selection of products so that I could then give a reader plus their child or significant other, or cousin, or friend, or dog – they said dog! I swear! – a free shirt each of their own choosing. It would have been pretty stupid of me to say anything but WOULD I EVER YES AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Because who doesn’t need a shirt? A funny or poignant or vintage or adorably tiny shirt? NO ONE, THAT’S WHO. I mean, unless you don’t have a torso, you could use a shirt, amiright? And if you don’t have a torso, well, you have other problems. Like the inability to breathe. Or eat. Or be alive.
Cafepress did not ask me to do a review, but I have ordered from them before all this fame and fortune rained down on me, and you know what? It was a Big Brother t-shirt for Noah for the Big Day when Rosie would join us, and when it came I realized I had not read carefully enough about the sizes and ended up with a shirt that was comically large for my wee big brother. By the time I contacted them about the problem, a friend had made a big brother shirt for Noah, and I no longer needed one, but they told me to keep the shirt anyway, AND they refunded my money. So I got a free shirt, just because they are nice and do good business. And they didn’t even know they were earning the respect of a all-powerful, mind-wielding Internet giant of the future! I KNOW.
But seriously, if you need a gift for someone, you can find something for everyone on their website. Like EVERYONE everyone. Are you a proud nurse’s uncle? There’s a shirt for that! Do you love the Goonies? They’ve got that covered! Also, I want you to know that if I could give you all a collective shirt, it would be this one. You’re welcome.
Be warned, though. Once you click over to that site and start browsing the “Humor” section, there’s your afternoon. You’d better get a snack first.
So. All of that is to say that Cafepress is a great source for unique and personalized gifts – for family, friends, aunts, uncles, pets, step-godcousins, and more! They’re good people who make good quality things, and the shirts they sent us this time did not disappoint:
This is the best shot I have of all three of us in our shirts. Also, I tried really hard to push this awesome robot shirt on Noah, but once he saw the FIVE it was all over for him, even though the shirt is big enough for someone who could have a ONE FIVE on their shirt. Also, I had not showered. Also, clearly, this was a Pants Optional Day. But look! AW ROSIE AND I ARE ALL MATCHY MATCHY. But seriously, how could I NOT have a Rosie the Riveter shirt? I couldn’t not. So therefore, we matchy matchy.
So! I’d like to clothe your torso! Or more specifically, Cafepress would like to clothe your torso and the torso of one of your closest torsoed acquaintances. It occurs to me that I could require you to do any number of things to be in the running for the shirts. I could have you write me a haiku, send my blog link to ten of your friends, or better yet, have you profess your undying love for me in 140 characters or less! Yes! But instead, I will just let you comment as you will. Only one comment* per person, and the winner will be chosen at random by one of those random chooser thingies. You could just say ‘SUP RACH, and get two free shirts. Easy peasy + lemon squeezy = SHIRTS.
Winner will be announced next Monday, 4/5. Go Team Awesome! (**Edited to add: You can comment until midnight of Sunday 4/4.)
*If you have been a loyal reader of Yestertime but never commented, (or heck, if you came here for the very first time today just for the free stuff) TODAY IS YOUR DAY. SEIZE THE DAY. CARPE COMMENTUS. You don’t have to use your real name – I’ll contact you if you’ve won to get all your info.
**Stink, I found one for you.