Random, Ruckus

Not To Mention The Scurvy

The other night my sister Sarah and I were sitting in Noah’s room talking as he got ready for bed.  Halfway between clothes off and pajamas on, he paused in thought before looking at us with a concerned face.  Then he dropped this on us:

N: “What would happen to us if we were sucked into a black hole?”

R: “Uh…you mean a black hole like in outer space?”

N: “Yeah. Like where you go with the suits and the bowl on your head.”

R: “Well, black holes are waaaaaay out there in outer space. We don’t have to worry about them at all.”

N: “We don’t?”

R: “No. There are a whole lot of things to worry about in this life, but trust me, a black hole is not one of them.”

N: “Oh.”

(You see the mistake I just made there, don’t you. I temporarily forgot that I was talking to a kid who could scare himself over the potentiality of bears being in our house.)

(pause)

N: “But what are the things to worry about?”

Aunt Sarah: “Well, there is one thing you may not know about yet.”

N: (in hushed tone) “What?”

AS: “It’s called…gingivitis.”

AND IT’S AUNT SARAH FTW.

There Go My Fifteen Minutes

Hark! Mine article arriveth in print! Go forth and partake of it! And as it lies in such permanent and uneditable nature, verily I say to ye I must overt mine eyes from its URL and purge the perfectionist demon that lies within my countenance!*

*This is not to say that there are errors. This is just the first time I’ve written something for other eyes to see that can’t be Open Apple-Zed, ifyouknowwhatimean. And so I have a hard time reading it once it’s published.  If I did, I’m pretty sure I’d be up all night tossing and turning with ridiculous thoughts like IF ONLY I’D USED THE WORD EXCELLENT INSTEAD OF AWESOME OH GOD WHY MEEEEEEEE. But you go ahead and enjoy it. I’m sure it’s very nice.

8 comments

1 Darth & G-mom { 03.02.10 at 3:07 pm }

Congratulations on the article – you even got in a plug for your blog! It (the article) definitely had your “tone” and was entertaining. Keep up the great work.

2 libby { 03.02.10 at 3:13 pm }

now, i’m super proud of you and all and the article is brilliant, but would a heads up about the article having to do with multiple uses for placenta been out of line here? come on rach, help a sister out. ick.

you’re awesome.

3 Anjie { 03.02.10 at 3:55 pm }

um, yes, libby. such a warning would have been appropriate. as i am only looking at the online version right now, i chose not to zoom in on the pic of the teddy bear that was there…and *might* have been made OUT OF A PLACENTA. i wouldn’t know. i didn’t look.

that part aside, very funny…and i thought the use of awesome was perfect. excellent would have crossed a line. no doubt.

4 Rachel D { 03.02.10 at 6:15 pm }

It is very nice! I enjoyed the article a lot lot lot.
I wish someone had instilled a fear of gingivitis in me at a young age. Then maybe I wouldn’t have been trying to force myself to floss for the last 2 decades. Brie once told me she thought it would be easier to quit smoking than to get into the habit of flossing and I think she is right.

5 racher { 03.02.10 at 6:28 pm }

Yeah…about the placenta. THERE’S AN ARTICLE ABOUT PLACENTAS. Consider yourselves afterwarned.

Also, Rachel D, I always did think that that Brie was a fount of wisdom.

6 Jill { 03.02.10 at 10:52 pm }

Sweet, Rachel! We should do something like go to Los Bravos to celebrate. :-)

7 Sara P { 03.03.10 at 12:06 am }

Yay for publications and for warnings about placenta! Bravo, Rachel! The article was great and hilarious and witty and authentic. I loved it!

8 Aunt Sare { 03.03.10 at 12:15 am }

Gingivitis should not be underestimated.

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