I had a clever title, but IT BROKE

This post would have been published earlier, but I have spent the whole of my free time today tinkering with my camera and making a few sailors blush.  In all the melee about the laptop dying I may have forgotten to mention that I dropped my camera a few weeks ago, catching it  ninja-style between my knees and shattering the LCD screen.  Which was not a huge deal, the camera still worked.  Until it didn’t.  Now when I turn it on, it turns itself right back off.  I have changed all the batteries, checked the new LCD screen connection, cried, removed the batteries and cleaned the connections, and now am obsessively searching Google hoping in desperation to find a site that will say with authority that the solution to my problem is just to go on and give it a good whack on the table.

Because seriously.  Seriously?  I barely finish chiseling the R.I.P on my computer’s gravestone when the only piece of technology that I religiously carry with me bites it too?  Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Universe.  I started out dealing with this situation in a very Beatlesque, We Can Work It Out kind of manner, and now I am just pissed off.  Like too pissed off to even think of some hyperbolic way to say pissed off like I normally would.

Being pissed off about this makes me the Great Potentate of First World Whining, but frankly, facing each day without the tools that I have been using for the past two years to help me find sanity and community and fulfillment in this life of non-adult interaction has been tough for me.  It has become clear to me over the last year or so that I am on a journey to find the next thing on the horizon outside of child-raising, and in the baby-filled interim this chronicling of life has been a bridge to whatever it is that waits for me out there.  But the bridge is growing less structurally sound by the day, and I feel like I am standing on the banks watching it crumble.

WOE. LE SIGH.  AND OTHER MELODRAMATIC STATEMENTS. I am writing through my frustration.  And now you have been brought along for the ride. If you have a personal rant of your own, I would be more than willing to relieve you of it in the comments section.  If not, please enjoy this photo (taken a while ago, since MY CAMERA IS CURRENTLY BROKEN) which just so happens to punctuate this post quite nicely.



1 Jill Tolbert { 10.23.09 at 9:09 pm }

I can still offer the tiny netbook if you need a fix for a while. And it has a built in camera, so we can at least see a picture or your new haircut. :-)

2 Katy German { 10.25.09 at 11:45 pm }

I am simultaneously desperate for and terrified by what lies beyond this mommyhood chapter. What if I’m a disappointment to myself? I mean, to the kids I’m MOM, but to me I’m just…well…me. And who has time to figure out who that is any way?! Don’t mean to bring you down – just wanted to let you know that I hear you. Hang in there. Maybe you could start sketching. :)

3 Lisa O { 10.26.09 at 8:22 am }

this is definitely N’s WTF face…he just doesn’t know it yet…but you do. WORD

4 Allen { 10.28.09 at 9:17 am }

Rant; I hate it when people don’t use their headlights when it’s raining. If you use your wipers you need your headlights, look it up. It’s so selfish to think ‘I can see fine, I don’t need my headlights’ Well we can’t see you! Any color or size car has the abilitiy to disappear by blending in with the surrounding wetness. And while I’m at it, if it is crazy can’t see the car infront of you raining hard, use your hazards if you don’t want to pull over. Scratch that, if you pull over definately useyour headlights.

Whew, I feel better. I’ve been looking for a vessel to dump my whinings into but I’ll try not to make it your comments section…..

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