A quick word on sleep, or lack thereof

L and I are currently side by side on the couch, searing the tops of our thighs with separate laptops. His is open to some law-ish thing like “Torts: They’re Not For Eating” and I have this window up, as well as up top tabs saving my Google searches for both “red spot, skin, children” (an image search I will never again do while eating thankyouverymuch) and “frequent night waking, 10-month old”, a topic that has just ramped up its relevance even as I was typing those very words because now the living room is filled with the sounds of WAAAHBABABANUHNUHNUH MAMAMAMAMA. Oh sweet Jesus baby girl go to SLEEP.

This is night BWUHteen of this wake-cry-shush-bounce-rock-pray-repeat cycle, and the edges of my patience have been steadily chipping away until soon I am pretty sure I might pawn off my wedding ring for a syringe of infant phenobarbital.

The Sleeping Thing: it is, in my opinion, one of the most frustrating, time consuming, arduous, obsessed over, God-awful things about being responsible for a tiny, non-speaking human. Nothing will make you turn feral quicker than a few nights of a wailing alarm clock set to Whenever You Have Just Fallen To Sleep O’ Clock. And there is some sort of selective memory about this, where you’re coasting through the day doing your thing thinking, Hey! I’m doing ok! and then something small like not being able to untangle your computer’s power cord makes you LOSE. YOUR. SHIT. and you think “Whoa, where did that come from?” And then your memory becomes unselective and you remember oh, right: I HAVEN’T SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY.

The other thing about the whole waking ad infinitum is that it robs me of the few child-free hours that I have every evening.  This is equally, if not more, crippling to my ability to function.  It stretches my 12 hour day of work into a 14 or 15 hour one, and, (since I am stubborn) I refuse to relinquish the time lost and end up stay awake until 12:30 or 1 doing the things I hoped to have time to do (like this blog – hi!), back when I was selectively remembering.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, it is too late to continue this rant. So I’ll just reiterate the most important sentence of it – Please, please, please, please PLEASE sweet Jesus, baby girl: Go to sleep.


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