Impasse

We’ve reached that dreaded point in settling in to a new house called Functioning Pretty Well But Still A Godawful Mess.  Meaning the kitchen is up and running without a hitch, but I still have to step over four boxes to get into my bedroom closet and have done so for many days on end.  I always have a fear at this point in moving that things will just stay this way forever – coasters will go on top of cardboard and we’ll start referring to it as “the side table” or we’ll just go on using that extra large box as a baby gate because, hey – we don’t need those winter coats just yet!

The person that this system actually kind of works for is Noah, who gets to experience a mini-Christmas every time we shove some pile over to get to something important and unearth another (OMG ANOTHER) box of toys.  “MY JET!” he screams. “MY SMALL GREEN DINOSAUR WHOSE NAME I CAN’T REMEMBER!”  He’s reunited, and clearly it feels so good.

I, however, feel as though I need a Organization Intervention.  Like one of those people who can come into your house and take all your crap and rearrange it and somehow make it look like page 21 of the Pottery Barn catalog.  I dream of some perfectly coiffed, perfumed woman breezing in and with a wave of her hand saying, “But Darling! Just put this warped particle board shelf here and put this plant on there and VOILA: you are feng shuied!”  And then we’d go have cappuccinos and lady fingers in the (also feng shuied, duh) kitchen.

One problem is that I keep thinking that we’ll finish unpacking a room “after X.” X being….we die? I’m not sure what I’m waiting for, because it is becoming obvious to me that “free time” is pretty much a bygone these days, along with “sleep” and “cognizance.”

Maybe the solution is just to throw open all the last leftover boxes and just put everything in them on the nearest surface and then have a few friends over and then deadbolt the doors behind them and say NO ONE LEAVES UNTIL THIS LIVING ROOM IS OOZING WITH POSITIVE CHI.

I think it would work.

11 comments

1 rebekah { 08.18.09 at 9:55 pm }

I say you put L on kiddo duty, invite a bunch of girls, tell them all to bring a drink and a dessert to share one evening and let us go at it. you wouldn’t even have to use the deadbolt. I feel the positive chi now.

2 Elizabeth Hartman { 08.18.09 at 10:04 pm }

I know exactly how you feel. We moved into Ben’s house almost two months ago, and while we’ve unpacked the important things (underwear, dishes), the unimportant things have yet to be unpacked. Our DVDs? Still sitting in a box. Boxes of books? Yet to be placed onto the particle board shelves. I keep saying “Once I release the raccoons, I’ll have more time…” but I know that’s a facade – once the raccoons are out in another month or so, there will be something else more important going on than shelving those college textbooks that I just Can’t Let Go.

3 Anjie { 08.19.09 at 8:44 am }

i second rebekah’s idea! if you do have time to unpack…just start piling things in the general area you think you want them to go and then let us all come over to organize and cutify each area. or, i hear cardboard is going to be the cutting edge look for 2010…you’re just ahead of the style game!

4 Rev. Mama { 08.19.09 at 9:09 am }

I think I moved about 30 days before you, and we still have the “we’ll get to it soon!” issue with our remaining boxes. I thought company coming for Cooper’s birthday would spur us on. (I was wrong.)

And, I find it so bewildering that the things we always allowed ourselves to purchase en masse (music, books) are now the last things we want to unpack. I propose a progressive fung-sui’ing event! I’ll bring the music.

If I can find it.

5 amy { 08.19.09 at 9:13 am }

I feel you. I think I just kept waiting for someone else to come over and do it for me, because duh, I’ve got so much other stuff to do! But nobody ever came, and I had to do it myself. And it sucked. I’ve found that one way to motivate your husband to help is to invite his friends and family over for food/football/whatever works. Good luck!

6 Leigh Ann { 08.19.09 at 11:47 am }

“x being…we die?” HA HA! you crack me up!

i third rebekah’s idea. wish i was there to partake! good luck!

7 Dorothy { 08.19.09 at 12:39 pm }

I would totally come if you indeed had the dessert and drink (margaritas perhaps) night and we didn’t live 5 hours away…I am a OCD organizing maniac. Of course this does not work in my own house – it took us 2.5 years before the last box was unpacked and all of the rooms successfully organized. Those last few remaining boxes were shoved into a corner or closet where I couldn’t see them in my normal day-to-day wanderings around the house so that I didn’t go completely crazy.

8 Morgan { 08.20.09 at 8:35 am }

I’m in. Cleaning and organizing are much more fun when it is not your own house and margaritas and good company are in the mix!

9 racher { 08.20.09 at 10:25 am }

See – this is why I have a blog. It solves all my life problems! I am totally planning this now, and everyone within driving distance who commented, consider that your contract saying you will do it. (SIGNED IN BLOOD.)
I will come up with details soon…

10 libby { 08.21.09 at 4:53 pm }

i think the you can use the surprise noah feels when he sees toys to your advantage…grab a box of toys, wrap them all in christmas paper and call it a day…

maybe this is why i’m not a mother.

if you have said “drink, dessert, and unpack party” tomorrow i’m in. other wise i’ll be back in florida

11 julie bailey { 08.22.09 at 10:55 pm }

ooh… this one hits us close to home! THERE’S NO DEADLINE! We keep saying we’ll finish getting our promised-handmedown furniture from our parents “later”. But when is LATER?!?! Ahh!

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