Thoughts while driving to the park


Every once in a while something will annoy me and I’ll take a second to clarify if I am annoyed just this one time, or if the Annoying Thing I just witnessed is something that always annoys me, every time.  If I decide “every time”, it gets added to my Pet Peeve list, a (probably too long because I need to get a life) list that lives in my head, ready to be whipped out for use, should I ever find myself in need of a Pet Peeve  list.  I’ll give you a few examples, but only a few because I don’t want you to know how much of an actual asshole I am:

– Standing Uber Close Behind Me Whilst I Am Waiting In The Checkout. It’s not accidental. I inch up, they inch up. Also, inevitably some part of the merchandise they are buying will be touching me at all times.

– Unnecessary Awkward Running Across Crosswalks When There Are No Cars Approaching.  Self-explanatory. You’ve seen it.

– The Use Of The Word “Hubby.”  I know, some of you use this word.  But this is my list, so there you go.  Your list may include “The Use Of The Phrase OMG” or “Always Referencing Burritos” and that is your prerogative.

There are many more. Too many. I need to tone down the peeve.

Noah, Neck Permanently Craned

It never occurred to me until after Noah outgrew his car seat that he had only been able to face forwards in the car.  Those car seats are like little armless straight-jackets (um, so really like something totally different I guess) that kept him locked into one position and the sides of the seat impeded his vision to his left and right.  One of the first times he ever rode in his booster seat, I remember him seeing some cool looking car headed in the opposite direction and tracking it until it was out of sight over the horizon behind us and then turning around with saucer eyes and saying “MOM. I SAW IN BACK OF US.”  Now he rides that way a good 95% of the time.  You would think the novelty would have worn off, but I think the four years of exclusively face forward car riding means he’s missed out on millions of painted lines on the pavement fading into the distance, and so with dogged determination he plans to make up for every single one.

It’s Called Shred For A Reason

Two days in and I hurt everywhere.  Last time I did the Shred, I made sure to do it three maybe four times a week.  This time I’m doing it every day, no excuses, and I’m a little, um, trembly about it.  Trembly in fear and in muscle weakness. Plus, I never know what I’m going to get from the audience that is watching the Huffnpuff Show.  One minute Noah’s gaga about “Wow Mom, you can do a LOT of jumping jacks!” and the next he’s all “Man, Mom, the WHOLE HOUSE IS SHAKING.  You’re really really really really HEAVY.”

Thanks peanut gallery, appreciate the commentary. Now come over here and lift mama’s finger so she can push the stop button on the DVD remote.



1 Amy { 06.02.09 at 6:13 pm }

Omg, I’m totally the same way with the pet peeved. People who make noise while yawning, adults who pat when they hug, open-mouth breathing, the smell of other people’s food: the list is LONG. Glad it’s not just me who, um, is an asshole.

2 Amy { 06.02.09 at 6:14 pm }

PEEVES. iPhone auto-corrected that to be peeved and I didn’t catch it in time.

3 Leeann { 06.02.09 at 7:40 pm }

Tell us more of you pet peeves. Please. It will make me feel better about hating people who use “that” and “those” as modifiers. As in, “How is THAT Rachel you used to work with? Is she still married to THAT Lorso? And THOSE kids? How are they?”

4 candace { 06.02.09 at 11:32 pm }

ah rachel, come join us in the house of judgment, where we welcome all fellow assholes… i have separate pet peeve lists for different aspects of life– one for driving pet peeves (a.k.a. things that instantly ignite my road rage), one for people in grad school (shut up annoying comment-posed-as-a-question guy), one for church, one for online things , etc. come and judge with us…

5 Ginny { 06.03.09 at 7:01 am }

I just happened to catch the masthead picture of L on the slip and slide in his professional clothing. Made me laugh.

6 Carol { 06.04.09 at 8:04 pm }

I have a whole set of grammar and punctuation pet peeves. Top of the list is the misuse of the apostrophe as though certain items are possessive: TV’s, DVD’s.

7 Trenches of Mommyhood { 06.16.09 at 9:56 am }

Whoops, I say Hubby. Forgive me?

Mine: Train riders who don’t SCOOTCH THE F OVER when someone else gets up. It’s a 3-seater dude. You don’t have to remain sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Seriously.

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