Posts from — May 2009

Dear Baby Teeth,

You suck.

We’re done with the all night raves around here.  You missed them.  They’re over.  Tough luck.  You could have perhaps attended the “Learning How to Sleep In the Crib Bash” we had a few months ago, or perhaps the “Rootin’ Tootin’ Gas-a-thon” that we threw last week.  But you decided not to.  Your loss.  We have officially moved on to Snoozapalooza 2009, and that show?  SOLD OUT, DUDES.

So get over yourselves.  Get the message.  Get a life.

Bastards.

Sincerely,

Team Rosie

The All In One Afternoon Activity

Noah has started going over to our neighbors’ house pretty frequently.  There are two robust Italian brothers who live there, both older than him, and their fiesty Italian-ness and trampoline-equipped backyard have sufficiently served to entertain him and to tucker him out.  This is awesome on many levels.  One, he is two doors down, which is far enough away that I feel adequately on stand down from Two Kid Parental Duty and can focus more of my attention on Rosie, but not so far that I can’t stand in the backyard and yell YOU BETTER GET YOUR TOOKIS HOME IN FIVE MINUTES OR ELSE MISTER.  Two, he gets exercise in the fresh outdoor air while I get to stay inside and continue my happy stale-but-with-wireless-capabilities air existence.  Three, he gets to witness the older brother’s earnest attempts to impress his mom with his imitation of Jesus on the crucifix (accomplished by lying prostrate on the trampoline, legs crossed, arms out, expression appropriately burdened) and therefore gets a little bit of churching, Catholic-style.

I’m not sure what else you could ask for in an afternoon play date.

Also Worth Mentioning, But Only Briefly

Rosie is now mostly putting herself to bed in her crib with no crying (although we’re still in the phase where I stand there next to her for a good while, silently plotting my exit route on my internal map of Creakyboardtown) and she has pretty consistently woken only one or two times before the morning, which after the last month makes me feel like a million and four bucks the next day.  This is all I’m going to say about this matter because I’ve learned that speaking of sleep success outloud or even over the Interwebs can send the whole operation straight to The Shitter quicker than you can say Hey how’s about we watch a movie tonight? Also, I feel like the subject of Rosie’s non-sleep has been exhausted.

Ba dum bum – ZING!!!

Please To Enjoy:

Alllllriiiiiight. from racher on Vimeo.

(Happy Mother’s Day)

There is someone conspicuously missing from the Wall of Life in our house.  Seems like if she’s been around for six whole months we might as well act like she lives here.  And leaving the spit up on the couch until it’s petrified doesn’t count as a meaningful sign of her existence in our family.  So we need some pitchers up there, STAT.

I have a few favorites, but I’m curious if there are any that have caught your eye since her birth.  (Feel free to peruse my Flickr account for a refresher.)  Is there one that stuck in your mind after you saw it? One you can see in a frame on the wall? Which would you pick?  What Would Internets Do (WWID)?

I really do want to know, but I’m also sort of desperate for adult human (uh, cyber) interaction via comments and won’t care if you think all my pictures are total and utter crap, so long as you log in to tell me so. Thank God for Facebook or otherwise I might be toting the kids down to the corner gas station with my guitar and a sign that says, “WILL SING FOR WITTY REPARTEE.”

I’m only sort of kidding.

1. I am ass-draggingly, mind-numbingly, bone-achingly WHIPPED.  All available energy is being used for purposes other than blogging, such as making sure my fork reaches its mouth-hole target without disaster, and remembering to use soap when showering.

2. I am working on a short movie for your viewing pleasure.  It is in honor of Rosie turning 6 months.  It should be done in time for her high school graduation.  (See #1)

3.  These things suck: car alarms that go off outside the windows of babies who just fell asleep after being soothed for 20 minutes with forty quadrillion lip-numbing shhhs, dropping a whole damn container of blueberries on the floor, bloody noses, the sound of a four year old grinding his everloving teeth all the live long night, the creaky boards right outside Rosie’s door, 2AM, 3AM, 4AM and 5AM, also did I mention bloody noses, uncut baby fingernails and NOT SLEEPING.

4.   Never underestimate the power of THE PRUNE.

5.  Operation Deflabbify has been on definite hiatus for a good while now, something I’m not proud of but will freely admit.  The cover of the Shred has dust on it.  But frankly, the thought of spending twenty precious free minutes of my day looking at Jillian Michael’s severe horsey stare makes me twitch involuntarily.  I swear though, once I get more sleep I’m jumping right back on that, um…..horse.

I’m just going to stop there.