Advance apologies to my grandmother for the language

Tonight I was sitting at my parents’ kitchen table, shoveling spinach dip into my face by the Triscuit-full and having my first real moment of non-baby holding silence all day, when all of a sudden my loaded cracker snapped in half and tumbled back into the Tupperware dish and I thought DAMMIT ALL TO HELL I CAN’T EVEN EAT A FUCKING SNACK WITHOUT DISASTER and I flung the rest of the bite down in total disgust and stormed away.

Maybe I’m a little stressed out.

Operation Take A Break has been severely compromised so far this week.  I have not had the mental rest I’d hoped for, and my bath last night was about 2 degrees below Optimum Lobster Skin Conversion Temperature.  But before I get to all of that, let’s start with some positives of the week, shall we?  Look at me and my Bright Side of Life demeanor. I am like a freaking bundle of joy.

1. Rosie has stopped yelling. I cannot even stress to you how much BLISS this brings to my very countenance.  The constant cacophony to my eardrums was making my brain vibrate and drop IQ points by the day.  Also, the yelling has been replaced by an unbearably adorable (and quiet) “Ooooh.  Oooh!” that is delivered with the awe of someone who has just seen something totally amazing for the first time, like the aurora borealis.  Or a whale.  Or Jesus.  You get the point.  Anyway, this is a Very Good Thing.

2.  My mom bought me some clothes that fit me (THANKS MOM) and most of them are my pre-pregnancy size, HALLELUJAH.  Maybe this is not something I should advertise, as I know many people struggle mightily with post-baby weight loss and have issue with people whose natural metabolism does a whole lot of the work for them, but I AM HANGING BY A THREAD HERE PEOPLE, so please throw me a bone.  Stress: it does wonders for the muffin tops!

3.  I am not at my house, and so my kid free time does not involve cleaning or bill paying or organizing anything.  This is the part of the week that truly is a break, and I am grateful for that.

4.  Rosie rolled unassisted from her back to her stomach today and has done it several times since. She looked around at us with her wide mouthed grin afterwards as we clapped and cheered, pleased as punch.  That girl is a rock (and ROLL) star.

All of that would make for a pretty pleasant Spring Break, were it not for every single other thing that happened this week.  Like waiting so long for the car to come back from the mechanic’s on Monday that the trip had to be pushed back a day.  Or the $1300 bill that then came from said mechanic. Or the snow showers that were predicted for the entire route to Virginia. Or Noah’s 102 fever that popped up Monday night.  Or the snow showers that came true on the way over the mountains. Or Rosie’s uncanny ability to reach Over It mode when snowfall was hardest.  Or the shuddering the newly fixed car kept doing every time I braked.  Or the knocking noise coming from under the floorboards that even my mom in the passenger’s seat could feel.  Or the multiple evening wakings that Rosie executed last night.  Or the fact that my left boob hurts like it did when I had You Know What those two times.  Or the 102 fever that Noah still has tonight. Or the fact that on our last full day here we will be visiting the mechanic and the doctor.  Or the fact that none of my new clothes are going to fit after all the stress induced spinach dip eating I’m doing.

I think it wouldn’t feel so dire if I hadn’t already been so ready for a break when I packed my bags for this trip.  I have a terrible habit of getting my expectations way up for things that any rational person would know could easily go wrong in a million different ways.  I’m just wired that way, much to the chagrin of L, who often picks up the pieces when my hopes are dashed.

However, now I have blogged.  Look at that.  And the kids are still asleep. And I’m about to go boil the water for my bath.  So for now, things are looking up.

But I’m keeping a leash on my hopes, because the night is young, and there are many hours to go before the dawn.

April 8, 2009   5 Comments