Jillian Who?

You know what is a great stay-awake aid?  Stuffing your face.  Some afternoons last week I was so hungover from my baby binge the night before that I would just mindlessly wander into the kitchen and extract the nearest sugar fattilicious treat and cramcramcram.  Ten minutes later I would think, “Hmm, I’m hungry.  When’s the last time I ate?” and the cycle would repeat.  If for some reason Jillian Michaels is sitting around googling her name and reading all the blogs in which it appears, I am going to start carrying mace for the times when I am in a dark alley way by a gym or workout facility.

Next week I’ll be at my parents’ house for a few days with the two small people who follow me everywhere and I hope to take advantage of the modicum of free time I might get there and gingerly step back on the wobbly fitness wagon. Because I know how to have a Spring Break that is off the CHAIN.

I have not yet made it to Level 3 on the Shred due to the time out the 5K required, but I think I can pick back up at Level 2 maybe.  I’m probably good doing that even after a week (or two) of Klondike bars and sweet potato fries, right?  Guys?  Right?  Hello?

*CRICKETS*

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This Is Not An Exaggeration, Not Even A Little Bit

(In the car)

Noah: Mom, you know what I -

Rosie: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Noah: Know what I -

Rosie: OOOHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Noah: Know what I want when -

Rosie: YYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Noah: KnowwhatIwantwhenwegethome?

Rosie: OHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Me: What, bud-

Rosie: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Me: What buddy?

Rosie: GUUUHHHHHHHHHHYEEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHH

Noah: QUIET TIME

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Things I Am Jonesing After

1. A bathtub and dishwasher forever and ever amen.

2. A decent pair of jeans (who am I kidding, I’d take any new clothing that fits my body)

3. A decent hair cut

4. A full night of sleep

5. Warm weather/non soggy weather

6. Earplugs (see above)

7. Time to myself

8. Time to myself

9. Also, I don’t know if I’ve mentioned TIME TO MYSELF

10. A Klondike bar.  Oh wait I have those.  BRB.

11. Washboard abs. (May not work out with #10)