In which I take out my frustration on the ants

Due to work ramping up and looming deadlines at L’s job, I’ve been sort of single-parenting it again this week and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but hey! Single-parenthood is not an ideal environment for blog upkeeping!  Still, I start to get a little tic in my facial muscles when it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted and so today all you’re going to get is this drivel, because it’s that or the drugs, people, and I am anti-drug because Nancy Reagan told me to JUST SAY NO. (On Punky Brewster!  Do you remember that episode?  Also, do you remember the one where Cheri got trapped inside a refrigerator during hide and seek and passed out and then there was a Big Moral Lesson about how you should never hide in appliances?  GOD I wanted to be Punky Brewster!  That show taught me all my Important Life Lessons!)

ANYWAY OMG.

I don’t really have much to say of interest.  Our kitchen has an ant infestation.  It’s amazing how seeing something so tiny can throw me into such a giant fit of rage.  And it’s never a whole bunch of ants, just one or two.  It’s like they are deliberately messing with me.  It’s probably the same five or six ants, high school ants, senior prank pulling ants.  Bastards.

Also, our kitchen faucet is broken, meaning that every time we turn it on it showers us from about four different directions.  You would think this would deter the ants, but they are doggedly determined in their aimless counter wandering.  Again: bastards.

I mean, really, what do ants do?  Are they important?  Do we really need ants?  Do they kill other critters for us?  Do they pollinate anything? Will they do my taxes? No, they are just crumb carrying crawly pests who raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels and I am over them.  YOU HEAR THAT ANTS? I’M OVER YOU. There’s about to be some ant trap action up in this house with a side of Raid and violent smooshing.  And if I see even one of you after that, I’m strapping on the blowtorch.  YEEEEEEEHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Bluh. L, please come home soon.

17 comments

1 Sam { 03.05.09 at 2:49 pm }

I wanted to be Punky Brewster too! And yes, I remember both episodes! Thanks for the trip down memory lane. As for single parenting – hang in there!!!

2 Leigh Ann { 03.05.09 at 3:40 pm }

try the ant baits. we had an ant infestation in our kitchen and bathroom a few summers ago and the baits worked better than Cook’s Pest Control. good luck!

3 Leeann { 03.05.09 at 5:05 pm }

That refrigerator episode was life changing. I am still a little scared of my fridge.

4 Abbey Wrenn Lesher { 03.05.09 at 5:16 pm }

Hey Rachel-
Dorothy got me started reading your blog and it always makes me smile! I share in your ant frustration. Around our house we call them #@!$ ants. :) Makes me dread spring…and parts of summer …and sometimes fall if they are still surviving the terminix visits.

On a side note, my little guys middle name is Reiff. How about that? It’s a family name on my husbands side. Maybe you guys are uber distantly related.

Keep blogging. Makes me laugh in the afternoons.
Abbey

5 Jihyun { 03.05.09 at 5:24 pm }

My parents use “Taro” brand ant killer. It’s a clear, colorless gel, and the ants all come and stick their heads in and partake… and take it back to their lair. It is gross and fascinating at the same time, and it works. It works in FL, so I’m assuming it will work even better in GA where there aren’t as many ants.

6 racher { 03.05.09 at 8:33 pm }

You guys, can I just say that comments make my day. Even if they are just suggestions for how to kill tiny ant bastards. And Abbey, delurk comments are my favorite (I’M LOOKING RIGHT AT ALL YOU LURKERS). Seriously, when you write a blog, it’s like tossing your journal off a boat into the sea and not knowing who comes across it or what they think about it…unless you get comments, which very much dampen the sound of crickets chirping after each post.
Also Abbey, I am trying to figure out exactly what you call your ants. Ass ants? Bitch ants? Shithead ants? Douchebag ants? You don’t have to clarify, I’m just intrigued.
Very cool about the name!

7 amy { 03.05.09 at 8:43 pm }

Ah. Single-parenthood does suck, even when it’s just temporary while your husband’s working long (and inconvenient) hours. Wish I could be mature enough to take it out on insects rather than, say, burying my head in a toddler art project and then being supremely annoyed at my toddler for trying to help. At least you’ve got good coping mechanisms, I say.

8 Elissa Pope { 03.05.09 at 8:46 pm }

Wow, Rachel. I am totally feeling your pain. I decided after our first year at CTS that Decatur must’ve been built on a massive ant-pile because our kitchen and bathroom seemed to be constantly infested with the little mongers. I hated them. I HATED THEM. And one day someone told me that they were attracted to the water, which shot my “store all food-items in a ziploc bag” solution (good thing… cause it wasn’t really working anyway, and was terrible for the environment, and a royal pain in the ass.) So we started spending money we didn’t have on a pest control service that didn’t work either. Did I mention that I HATED THEM?! Anyway, I digress. One day, we stumbled upon Terro ant traps (I think that’s what Jihyun was talking about), which ran something like $6/box and I’ll be damned if they didn’t work! With little hands around, you have to be smart about where you put them, but they worked… and we never saw another ant. So, get on it, girl… cause you’ve got far too many things trying to drive you insane these days. Take this one off the list. :)

9 Deb { 03.06.09 at 1:25 am }

I feel you on the anti-ant thing…Taro is a good brand, or if you want an earthy fix….try bay leaves in your cupboards and sprinkling cinnamon around the outside of your house where you might spray insect spray otherwise.

good luck!

10 Allen { 03.06.09 at 10:50 am }

I was gonna knock your socks off by telling you how great Tarro is, but instead I just ‘Here, here!’ everyone else.

another interesting fact (and possibly fun activity for Noah) is that ants will not cross a chalk line. I know you said that you
only seem to have a few, but if you every find a pilgrimage just draw a really long, skinny U with the legs (? not curved end) pointing away from you and yours.

And I will get to be the first suggestor of janky faucet fixes. Save calling sarah and telling her to bring home threading tape (right hand side of aisle), you can take a little kids dixie cup, punch a slighty-smaller-than nozzle sized hole in the bottom and shove in on there. Now the erradic spraying with hit the inside of the cup and then roll down. I suppose you could even use it as a diverter/pointer thingy.

I really miss telling people how to fix things.

p to the s, Jason and I are moving into a house (THANK YOU SWEET 8LB 11OZ BABY JESUS) next month and hosting easter egg hunts for the girls, wanna come over? Even before of after that Sunday, tell Noah I’ll need his help finding really good hiding places….

geez, novel much? i don’t write this much on my own blog 😉

11 ginnymom { 03.06.09 at 4:44 pm }

you guys are all so cool.

We figured out that the Latin root for “ant” (Why would there be a Latin root for ant?) is like forma…. so I decided that’s where the name “Formica” came from: something for ants to crawl around on in your blasted kitchen.

12 Dorothy { 03.06.09 at 7:11 pm }

OMG – this is really funny because I spent 15 minutes killing ants just this afternoon. They appeared in masses in our playroom…why, there’s not even any food in there! So I killed all the ones I saw and sucked up their filthy ants carcases with the vacuuum. Then one by one other ants started poking their little heads out from the baseboards. So there I sat, patiently waiting for each one to poke it’s head out and slowly decide that it was safe, then SMOOSH. After a while, the satisfaction off killing them one by one waned, and and I got out some Torro ant bait, and voila – 4 hours later, still no ants.

Also I blogged about pseudo single-parenting today – it’s like we’re living parallel lives! except you have TWO kids, and the thought of that makes me downright loopy

13 Kimie { 03.07.09 at 12:07 pm }

How funny I clicked on the comments to delurk and share my hatred of the bastard ants LOL! That’s what I call them too– all winter long ants. 2-3 here and there and if you leave them alone 30 seconds later there’s 300 million litle bastards running around. I had to completely Martha Stewart-ize my cupboards by putting everything and I mean everything in glass jars. It looks pretty but sheesh!

14 Anjie { 03.07.09 at 3:28 pm }

Someone just told me this week about how her grandmother put bay leaves in all of the kitchen cabinets…and never had any insect pest issues. Who knew?!?

15 racher { 03.07.09 at 8:09 pm }

YOU GUYS. Look at all the first time commenters! I am writing about ants every day from now on.
(Thnx for the advice!)

16 Rachel W { 03.10.09 at 5:34 pm }

Also, do you think Ginnymom has been watching My Big Fat Greek Wedding recently? Either that, or Darth has commandeered her user-name.

17 Allison { 03.11.09 at 9:26 pm }

I told Luke abt Terro. I will buy you some and bring it over if i have to.

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