In which I take out my frustration on the ants

Due to work ramping up and looming deadlines at L’s job, I’ve been sort of single-parenting it again this week and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but hey! Single-parenthood is not an ideal environment for blog upkeeping!  Still, I start to get a little tic in my facial muscles when it’s been a couple of days since I’ve posted and so today all you’re going to get is this drivel, because it’s that or the drugs, people, and I am anti-drug because Nancy Reagan told me to JUST SAY NO. (On Punky Brewster!  Do you remember that episode?  Also, do you remember the one where Cheri got trapped inside a refrigerator during hide and seek and passed out and then there was a Big Moral Lesson about how you should never hide in appliances?  GOD I wanted to be Punky Brewster!  That show taught me all my Important Life Lessons!)


I don’t really have much to say of interest.  Our kitchen has an ant infestation.  It’s amazing how seeing something so tiny can throw me into such a giant fit of rage.  And it’s never a whole bunch of ants, just one or two.  It’s like they are deliberately messing with me.  It’s probably the same five or six ants, high school ants, senior prank pulling ants.  Bastards.

Also, our kitchen faucet is broken, meaning that every time we turn it on it showers us from about four different directions.  You would think this would deter the ants, but they are doggedly determined in their aimless counter wandering.  Again: bastards.

I mean, really, what do ants do?  Are they important?  Do we really need ants?  Do they kill other critters for us?  Do they pollinate anything? Will they do my taxes? No, they are just crumb carrying crawly pests who raise my blood pressure to unhealthy levels and I am over them.  YOU HEAR THAT ANTS? I’M OVER YOU. There’s about to be some ant trap action up in this house with a side of Raid and violent smooshing.  And if I see even one of you after that, I’m strapping on the blowtorch.  YEEEEEEEHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Bluh. L, please come home soon.

March 5, 2009   17 Comments