Soundtrack to a workout (abridged version)

Jillian Michaels: Let’s start with windmills to raise the heart rate…

Bug: Imma workout with you, Mom!

Me:  Um, ok.  But watch out and don’t get in the way, ok?

Bug: OK!

JM: Thirty seconds of jumping jacks – GO.

Bug: Mom, what are jumping jacks?

Me: (THUD) Well, they (THUD) look something like (THUD) this.

Bug: Look Mom, I can do them!

SHAKE SHAKE RATTLE RATTLE EARTHQUAKE TYPE SEISMIC SHIFTING

JM: Ok, thirty seconds of push ups!  These are really tough, but they get results!

Me: (huff) BUG. (puff) DON’T (wheeze) SIT (grunt) ON (moan) MOMMY.

COLLAPSE.

JM: Straight up, ladies!  Into strength training!  Get those handweights for lunges.  And, GO!

Me: Bug, I need those!  NO, DON’T THROW –

CLUNK

fumble fumble fumble

JM: And lift!

Me: Mmmmphfff.  Bug.  Hrrrumpff.  WATCH OUT.

Bug: Mom, watch this.

Me:  NO DON’T GO UNDER MY LE–

CRASH

JM: I know you want to quit, but work through the pain!  That’s when change happens!

Me: Grooooaaaannnn

JM: That pain you feel is fear leaving the body!

Bug: Mom, I like exercising with you.

2 comments

1 Launi { 01.24.09 at 4:16 pm }

This is hysterical—I could totally picture the whole thing!
Good for you for staying with it–so to speak.

2 Meredith { 01.28.09 at 6:17 pm }

I feel like I’m taking a class at the gym with you! (My dog comes to class with me, but I can–and do–shove her away in a manner that would probably be inappropriate with a beloved child.)

My least favorite part is when JM points out how great the redhead “beginner”‘s abs are. They should have a real beginner up there, one who huffs and puffs a little and doesn’t look so condescending doing the “halfway” exercises. Except that it would probably be depressing. At least I can’t see myself while I’m sticking my “tush” out, or doing “quarterway” exercises…

Anyway: thanks for inspiring me, and keep on truckin! You can do it!

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