Jillian Michaels: Let’s start with windmills to raise the heart rate…

Bug: Imma workout with you, Mom!

Me:  Um, ok.  But watch out and don’t get in the way, ok?

Bug: OK!

JM: Thirty seconds of jumping jacks – GO.

Bug: Mom, what are jumping jacks?

Me: (THUD) Well, they (THUD) look something like (THUD) this.

Bug: Look Mom, I can do them!

SHAKE SHAKE RATTLE RATTLE EARTHQUAKE TYPE SEISMIC SHIFTING

JM: Ok, thirty seconds of push ups!  These are really tough, but they get results!

Me: (huff) BUG. (puff) DON’T (wheeze) SIT (grunt) ON (moan) MOMMY.

COLLAPSE.

JM: Straight up, ladies!  Into strength training!  Get those handweights for lunges.  And, GO!

Me: Bug, I need those!  NO, DON’T THROW -

CLUNK

fumble fumble fumble

JM: And lift!

Me: Mmmmphfff.  Bug.  Hrrrumpff.  WATCH OUT.

Bug: Mom, watch this.

Me:  NO DON’T GO UNDER MY LE–

CRASH

JM: I know you want to quit, but work through the pain!  That’s when change happens!

Me: Grooooaaaannnn

JM: That pain you feel is fear leaving the body!

Bug: Mom, I like exercising with you.