My superpower is segueing between paragraphs

I now have in my possession two DVDs (recommended by Linda of Bodies in Motivation) that will be kicking my ass into shape over the next months: Hip Hop Abs and The 30-Day Shred.  I’ve done Hip Hop Abs once and have yet to summon up the courage to brave the slightly menacing face of Jillian Michaels and break the seal on the second. Remember, I’m working with baby steps here.

Hip Hop Abs is a great work out for two reasons: one, it really gets my heart pumping and seems like it will focus on the parts of me I most want to work on (read: MY DOUGHY DOUGHY MIDSECTION).  Two, have you seen me dance?  Specifically, have you seen me dance hip hop?  If you haven’t, go ahead and try to picture it.  Yes – IT IS THAT AWKWARD.  And as it turns out, doubling over in spasms of laughter every 30 seconds is also a good ab workout, so it’s like I’m getting two workouts for the price of one.  Added bonus: sometimes Bug joins in the booty-shaking!  Turns out I’ll be sporting a six pack sooner than I thought.

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Speaking of Bug, January 12 is nigh upon us and if you don’t know what that means, just bend over and put your ear to the ground.  Those vibrations you feel are the uncontrollable quivering of a soon to be four year old as he tries patiently to count down the seconds to his Superman birthday party.  Every day it’s: MOM. How many more days now? I. CAN’T. WAIT. UNTIL. MY. BIRTH. DAY. PARTY. Supermancakeicecreampresentsbleeearrrrgghh!!  Today he asked me: did I know that his birthday was actually the tenth?  Mom, it is! DADDY TOLD ME THAT IT WAS.

Silly me!  Off by two days!  In that case we’d better have the party earlier!  And also increase the cake size and double the presents!

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Speaking of birthdays, Bug attended a friend’s party last weekend and came home with the usual goody bag of refined sugar and plastic crap, including two Spiderman bouncy balls.  These were clearly the favorites of the birthday loot and he carried them around for most of the weekend, rolling them and bouncing them and generally losing them in public places which required us to crawl into spaces that clearly no human has ever seen or ever should see to retrieve them from the fossilized french fries and dusty condom wrappers.

After lunch on Sunday he decided that the safest place to keep his new toys was in his back pockets, and as we loaded into the car he discovered that his plan had a flaw.  “Uh oh, Mom! I SAT ON MY BALLS!  It hurts when you SIT ON YOUR BALLS, Mom!” And the whole way home, there was no relief for Lorso and I as we tried mightily to still our shaking shoulders and choke back snorts of laughter while enduring an earnest and unending commentary about the trials of sitting on your balls.

And I have no segue after that.

3 comments

1 Gramps { 01.09.09 at 9:25 am }

You should definitely save this one and share it with Bug when he is about 13.

2 EMSA { 01.09.09 at 2:36 pm }

LOVE the “sitting on the balls” story…

Andy and I have just started doing Bob Harper’s workout DVD, which we netflixed…the 30-day shred is next i think, but we have to work our lardbutts up to it…i hear it is very good, though

3 Andy { 01.09.09 at 10:05 pm }

I’m getting an ab workout from laughing at the last paragraph! LOL. Wow!

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