Posts from — October 2008

For the love of elastic waistbands, this belly needs to be put out of its misery.

Well that’s it.  Yestertime is done for. There are just not any other thoughts going through my head any more besides ZOMG PREGNANT SO PREGNANT GET BABY OUT NOW.  And there’s only so many posts you can write about that before jumping the proverbial blog shark, you know?

So in order to retain readership, I will now attempt, at 38 weeks, 1 day pregnant to blog about something other than being 38 weeks, 1 day pregnant.  That’s right.  WATCH AND BE AMAZED.

I am going to do something I sort of never thought I’d do, and that is participate in a meme.  Desperate times call for desperate measures.

For those of you who don’t know what a meme is, you can read this site that explains it in detail.  Or I’ll just tell you: it’s a bunch of questions someone with a blog answers and then tags some other people with blogs and they answer the same questions and so on and so forth.  FASCINATING.

Anyhoo.  I was tagged for this meme by Adam, who writes a much more grown up and serious blog than I do. I choose to believe that he tagged me in this meme as a challenge, because the title of the meme is “6 Uninteresting Things About Me” and we all know how TOTALLY AND FABULOUSLY INTERESTING I am.  But like I said!  Desperate times!

Uh, so here we go.

1.  When I was in high school, any time I ordered a pizza over the phone I would do it in an Australian or English accent.

2.  Each of my ears are pierced twice, and even though I haven’t worn earrings in the second holes for years, they persist on as usable holes.  It makes me wonder if they coated the gun with sulfuric acid and melted the hole permanently into my ear.

3.  My favorite number is 2.  I don’t know why.

4.  I often pronounce words wrong.  Like for instance: yarmulke = yar-ma-luke and orange = arrrrrnge.
However, I do know how to say the word NUCLEAR.

5.  Also when I was in high school I wore colored contacts.  Blue ones.  On my blue eyes.  And now you are totally wishing you knew me in high school, am I right?

6.  ZOMG I AM THIRTY EIGHT WEEKS ONE DAY PREGNANT.

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Apparently now I’m supposed to tag six bloggers to do this meme, but if I had been able to tell you SEVEN uninteresting things about myself, I would have included that I am a slacker and also sometimes a rule breaker.  So I am only tagging three:

Dorothy, Silver Spiral, Jill

Baby changing area (aka one fourth of our bedroom):  STOCKED

Cradle: ASSEMBLED

Bag: PACKED

Car seat: INSTALLED

Slippers for hospital: PURCHASED

This is entirely too much readiness.  Babies can sense readiness.  What I need is a project to be in the midst of to fake LG out.

THAT’S IT.  LORSO, WE’RE PAINTING THE KITCHEN.

Lorso spent Saturday morning taking the LSAT.  Coincidentally, Bug spent Saturday morning repeating some nonsensical word I couldn’t understand.  He’d be in the bathroom, and I’d hear him: “Yoiler.” Then the toilet would flush.  Then, “Yoiler.” Then the water in the sink would go on and then off.  “Yoiler.” Then he’d come out and say “Mom.  Yoiler.”  Finally, ten maddening minutes later I figured it out: he was trying to say LAWYER.  I take that as a good omen for Lorso.  Not sure what it says about Bug.

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I have been slowly and steadily making my way through a whole tube of Pillsbury chocolate chip cookie dough.  At first I really craved it, and now it’s more about finishing it, just on principle. I’m no quitter!

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This nice grocery store employee helped me wheel my bags to the car today.  He was probably 60 years old and was pushing my heavy food-laden cart across a bumpy parking lot.  And yet he had to pause for me to catch up to him. Twice. Next time I’m going to go and buy 15 bags of charcoal, just to give myself an advantage.

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This little girl in my uterus has more hiccups than a fraternity house on Saturday night.  Also, the stretching ALWAYS WITH THE STRETCHING.  Here’s the thing, LG – there’s more room out here! You should come see what I’m talking about!  There’s oxygen for breathing!  And big brothers!  And leg room!  It’s totally awesome, swear.  It’s kind of like how people in Atlanta argue about the virtues of being ITP vs. OTP (inside the perimeter/outside the perimeter).  LG, FYI: ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE OTU.