True Love

I’m in the bathroom, carefully applying my makeup, as it is the only bastion of hope I have left for improving my appearance.  I pick up my mascara, and feel it slip from my puffy white-knuckled sausage fingers and watch it make the tumble to the far far away nether regions known as The Floor.

Hearing the clatter, Lorso, my knight in shining armor, appears instantly at my side and swoops the tube up and hands it to me before I can even utter my first bending down grunt.  “I heard it fall,” he says, chest puffed with pride. “Here you are, m’lady.”

I look into the eyes of my sweet husband standing before me, holding my mascara and say, “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???  THE VERY ACT OF RETREIVING THAT TUBE MIGHT HAVE SENT ME INTO LABOR, BUT NOW THAT CHANCE IS GONE.  STOLEN. BY YOU.  ARE YOU HAPPY WITH YOURSELF?”

“You’re right,” says Lorso.  And he chucks it back onto the floor and leaves.

October 20, 2008   4 Comments