A post with far too many ANTM references

 Pop quiz:  Who is this movie star?

A. Myrna Loy

B. Barbara Stanwyck

C. Elizabeth Taylor

D. All of the above can eat their hearts out, it’s MY GRANDMOTHER.

This weekend we had a big family hoopty do for my grandmother’s 80th birthday and also my 30th.  And it should reveal a little bit about my current physical state when I tell you that out of the two celebrants, the 80 year old was the one determined better fit to travel three hours for said party.

Also, we had a professional photo shoot during which I tried my damnedest to look fierce and smile with my eyes. But sadly, I’m certain I’m the one in the family that Tyra would have chosen to Return To the House, Pack My Bags and Go Home.  Because the harsh reality is that broken down doll pose is just not possible with beach ball belly.  Plus I discovered that no amount of slimming techniques (I wore black!  And long earrings!  I extended my neck!) are going to fool the camera when you are nine months pregnant.

The rest of my family however, looked rather dapper and dashing and other charming adjectives.  This included Bug, who took approximately five cooperative photos before going into permanent Huh-Uh mode.  Luckily, the photographer is neither A. pregnant or B. Bug’s mom, and so was much more patient with him than I could have ever dreamed of being.  So a few more shots of Bug were eked out of him as the night went on with the help of crazy gesticulations and pink M&Ms.

The photography session concluded with a trip to a local restaurant where a room had been reserved for our party and there my mom and sister and others had laid out a table of photos of my grandmother and a table of photos of me at various stages of our lives.  There were shots of us as babies and as little girls and as brides and as young mothers, and I’m hoping that my grandmother’s movie star shot was taken after that point in life, because I’ve yet to look that put together and glamorous and, well, all glowy and stuff. So I’m guessing that means it’s coming up after 30.  Uh, and childbirth.

Because I do have at least some of those same genes floating around in my DNA.  So I’m hoping that once the swelling in my nose goes down, I’ll be ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille.  Until then, I’ll just have to redouble my diligent ANTM watching efforts and reap the benefits of Tyra’s wisdom.

Or maybe I’ll just ask my grandmother for tips.  She is, after all, a natural.

Happy birthdays to us!