Waiting for the midwife: anything but boring

“Mom, open your tummy. (ed. note. This means pull up your shirt so I can see The Belly.) Your bellybutton is so smooth and shiny!  I think the baby’s toe is right there.  Poke poke baby toe!  I’m poking your toe!

(Insert kind and gentle words from me here like QUIT IT THAT DOESN’T FEEL GOOD.)

“But I want to POKE the baby’s TOE, Mom.”waiting 1

______________________________________

(Mouth is now smushed on The Belly.)

“Hey babybabybaby.  Hey baby stegosaurus.  Hey baby skunk. Hey baby cheetah.  HEY.  HEY BABY. HEEEEEEYYYY  BAAAAABBBBYYY.”

(Looking back at me)

“Hey mommy cow.”
waiting 2

______________________________________

(Still prodding the bellybutton.)

“Your bellybutton is like a hole, right Mom? Poke poke, baby!”

(*$#@!!)

“Okay, I won’t DO it anymore, Mom.”

(Pause.  Now gently stroking The Belly.)

“I think the baby is going to come out right here.  Right, Mom?  Or, wait, where is the baby gonna come out?”

(Insert v. official sounding medical textbook explanation in Charlie Brown Teacher Voice.) 

“*GROAN* But WHERE does the baby COME OUT, Mom?”

(Sigh of resignation. Delivery of straight facts.)

“HAHAHAHAHA.  BAGINA.  That’s a silly word!  BAGINA BAGINA BAGINA BAGINA BAGINA BAGINA BAGINA………..”

waiting 3

“But Mom?  How did the baby get in your belly?”

ENTER MIDWIFE.

2 comments

1 David { 09.24.08 at 11:37 am }

It’s amazing to me how much he resembles Lorso.

2 Morgan { 09.25.08 at 1:16 pm }

What did the midwife say? Is LG making any signs that she is as ready to enter the world as her mother is for her arrival?

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