Update at thirty four weeks, two days

On Monday I went to my 34-week appointment, where the midwife informed me that I am still pregnant. Hi, and welcome to the No Shit Sherlock Clinic!

However, I also learned that the baby is in Roger That Houston We’re Ready for Launch position, which is helpful and reassuring news. I believe the words she used were “engaged in the pelvis,” which would be a fun phrase to try to work into normal, non-childbirth related conversation. To confirm that LG is in fact head down, we got to have a third ultrasound, which is something we didn’t get the first go around. She looks pretty much the same as she did at 20 weeks – ten fingers, ten toes, a head, legs, arms, etc., except now she looks a wee bit less comfy. I actually thought I heard the “Mmmmfff. Errrgh. Ummmphhf.” coming out of her tiny toothless mouth. Then I realized no, nope, that’s me again. Pregnancy: the era of embarrassing noises.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up too high that her station status means an early arrival. Bug was early (11 days) and came fast (5 hours) but I’m keeping my expectations low in case I instead end up at 41 weeks participating in the Guinness Book Record Breaking Marathon Labor of All Time. Because this might cut down drastically on my potty sailor mouthiness at the hospital. As if such a thing were possible.

But if she were to come right on time, I would have, just off the top of my head, about FIVE WEEKS FOUR DAYS SIX HOURS TEN MINUTES AND FOURTEEN SECONDS left of pregnancy.

Give or take.

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