I never can find that damn Wizard’s scroll

I alluded to this the other day, but it bears repeating and expanding on: school has morphed Bug back into his old dapper, charming, walk-old-ladies-across-the-street self. I don’t think I had even registered the magnitude of this summertime change in him and how it was affecting me until my crazy breakdown last week. I had been sinking into that Bad Place for so long that I forgot that parenting shouldn’t make you feel like you need two Valium with a vodka chaser on a daily hourly basis.

Please understand I am not blaming my bouts of summer misery entirely on Bug. It was a mutual decorum erosion – his and mine. I simply didn’t have enough resources for him and did not ask for enough help to make up for it, and he responded the way any normally developing three year old would. He went out of his gourd.

Not all of this summer was bad. We went on some pretty great trips together, enjoyed some baseball, hobnobbed with celebrities, and occasionally scored some playdates. So there was that.

But there was also a lot of Time Out and Stern Looks and Are You Listening To Me Mister and If You Do That One More Time and tears tears and more tears. It was painful, it was humbling, and more often than not it made me feel like in the big Monopoly game of parenting I kept drawing the Go To Jail, Go Directly to Jail card.

Do not collect $200.

So can I just tell you that right now, right this minute, Bug is sitting next to me on the couch with a Where’s Waldo book quietly and diligently searching for Odlaw and Wenda. He’s letting me work on the computer for 10 more minutes at which point I promised him that I will close this laptop up and search with him. And I will keep that promise, even if I haven’t had a chance to read this post over again to see if I kept the same verb tense or split any infinitives. Because we’re a work in progress, me and him. And even though we surely don’t get it right all the time, we’re doing our best.

And sometimes our best is pretty great.


1 Bebe { 09.05.08 at 1:51 pm }

I think your best is MORE than pretty good. You are a good mom. The two of you are great parents.

2 Gramps { 09.05.08 at 2:08 pm }

Amen to that–that Bebe knows what she’s talking about!

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