Today Bug and I head to Tampa on a plane to spend a week with Lorso’s parents. It’s Bug’s first flight ever and my first flight since 2002. I will tell you, because I am a whiz at math, that that means it has been six whole years since I have flown.

So it’s not so much that I’m afraid of flying as I am just inexperienced at it, you see. But in this case, I am The One Who Has Experienced It All And Can Impart My All-Knowing Wisdom About Everything in the eyes of a boy who is totally excited about his first time on a plane. So it’s important to me that I make this a fun filled event in all ways possible. This probably does not include yelling “THE PLANE IS GOING DOWN WE’RE DOOMED” every time we hit a bit of turbulence. I’m guessing.

But here is my deal with myself: You will not freak out, because your kid is super excited about flying for the first time. You will act just as you did when you were a camp counselor nine years ago and passed the alligator sliding into the water mere feet from your canoe. Though you may feel scared shitless afraid, you must think of the young ones, excited about their fun expedition. You will simply keep the AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOMGAAAAAAAAAAAH in your head and keep rowing until you reach your destination.

That analogy seems to be working for me. Although if I have to get on to Bug for any small thing, my nerves may be at a point where I won’t be able to refrain from saying DON’T YOU TIP THAT CANOE YOUNG MAN.

Next update coming at you from the Sunshine State.