The lunch was delicious, the irony not so much

Yesterday was the last day of summer preschool, and I was feeling fairly altruistic about the way Bug and I would spend our Friday, so I asked him what he thought would be fun to do on our ‘day off’.

I realized right after the words left my mouth that I could have totally just put myself up Shit Creek with this question. I braced myself for the suggestions of “Let’s play Mommy Monkey and Baby Monkey!” or “Let’s play Chase ALL DAY!” but then he lit up to say, “I know! Let’s go to LOTS of playgrounds!” Exhaling, I realized this idea was free! And involved me getting to sit and read a book sometimes! Excellent choice, Bug, I decided.

So this morning, the Great Playground Tour of America commenced.

We hit two playgrounds, trike in tow, and then the library. (Also free and involving books. We like to have themes for our days) And then before we headed to the third playground I saw, like a beacon, the Chick-fil-A coupon for a free kids meal in my bag. Coupons for free food spontaneously combust if they are in my possession for more than 24 hours (or at least that is what my mind SCREAMS TO ME), and seeing how Bug had gotten this coupon the very day before, obviously it was high time we got ourselves some chicken nuggets.

We entered our local Chick-fil-A unwittingly, not knowing that it was Cow Appreciation Day. Otherwise known as OMG MADNESS. There was a ginormous cow walking around the tiny restaurant, giving people pounds and high fives and terrifying babies. People were dressed like cows just to get free food. There were balloons aplenty. The owners were there taking people’s trash for them and handing out small stuffed cows. (The same cows that I just snuck off to the Salvation Army last week, THANKS A LOT CFA.) And, there were eight-quadrillion people in this very tiny, tiny restaurant.

After we sat down with our lunch I looked up and saw cameras going off and some sort of small entourage entering the restaurant, and murmurs of “There he is! That’s him right there! The one in the cow hat!” and I thought maybe the Pope had stopped in for a sweet tea, but no, it was Truett Cathy himself and he was headed our way. Before I knew what was happening, the Big Scary Cow was upon us again doing strange cow sign language with Bug, and Mr. Cathy, who is older than God, was right there and I was thinking I probably should have showered, and a release was put in my face to sign in case Bug’s image was used in the next promotional brochure, and I realized that Mr. Cathy was kind of standing there looking at me. So I shook his hand and said, “Um, hi, Mr. Cathy. Sure do like your restaurant. It’s, uh, totally terrific. And also great.”

“Well thank you, young lady. And YOU, young man, what does a COW say?” he turned to Bug.

“MOO,” Bug said. Kind of like, “Duh, old dude.”

“Yes, but what ELSE does a cow say?” he leaned in.

There was an awkward pause and Bug looked at me and I said, “Uh, Bug, cows, um, also say, uh, Eat More Chicken. When they are pretend cows.”

“Eat more chicken! That’s SILLY!” Bug said to the OWNER OF ALL CHICK-FIL-As EVERYWHERE.

Chuckling, Mr. Cathy handed him (ANOTHER. DAMN.) stuffed cow and said, “That’s right, very good.” And he patted him on the head and shuffled away to the next table.

And then since my child had been properly indoctrinated and marketed to, we took our cow, cow hat, and balloon and left.

Later, after more playground touring, we arrived home and my day came full circle. There on my doorstep was the maternity bathing suit I had ordered a week ago. In a box. A box this big:

cow suit

There’s only a bathing suit in there, I’m pretty sure. I’m kind of scared to open it. Who packages a bathing suit in a refrigerator box? Does it need all that room because of the yards and yards and YARDS of fabric needed to cover me? GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY.

But hey, you know like I said, we like our days to have a theme around here.

And Big Scary Bathing Suit Box fits right in.

To Cow Appreciation Day.


all cowed out


1 Rachel D { 07.11.08 at 9:05 pm }

Mmm, chick fil-a, I sure do miss those. I wonder if there are any on my coast.
Have you noticed that McDonald’s is trying to put chick fil-a out of business by marketing an identical chicken sandwich (but surely less tasty) and sweet tea? I am very annoyed by this – don’t hurt chick fil-a! I refuse to give in and buy these products even though I could really go for a chick fil-a sandwich right now.

2 racher { 07.12.08 at 8:28 am }

If I could, I would mail you a CFA sandwich fresh out of the oven today. Happy Birthday! (P.S. And some waffle fries)

3 Jo(s)e(ph) { 07.12.08 at 5:25 pm }

fo’ FREE.

4 natalie { 07.13.08 at 8:33 am }

Once, I got a tea cup in the mail and it was in a box twice as big. Friggin’ ridiculous. Not quite the same things as a maternity bathing suit… But still. It made me a bit nervous when it came time to open it!

5 Anjie { 07.14.08 at 1:32 pm }

dude. love that your kid told truett cathy that he’s silly. rock on, bug.

6 Ryann { 07.14.08 at 4:18 pm }

Omg, I cannot believe you guys didn’t dress up. Bug needs traditions in his life, you know, and this could have been one as he did dress up like a cow when he was, oh, 6 months old. And who got the free food? Lorso, of course. We definitely dressed up as cows and got free food. I’ll have to send you a picture…

7 Andy { 07.17.08 at 9:17 am }

R –

Did you compose the picture of the box? Or is your home now so tastefully decorated that pictures taken from any angle involve single blossoms and modern dining furniture?

PS – I love that your boy speaks truth to power. And Truett is super wierd.

8 carol { 07.17.08 at 2:27 pm }

The Play Ground Tour is a great idea! We have 4 parks with in minutes of each others. It is almost worth borrowing a friend’s young child just to try it.

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