Random, thy name is Bug

Bug has developed a bizarre and sudden phobia of bears. In Atlanta. More specifically, on our street. Last time I checked, there weren’t any bears in these parts, and by “these parts” I mean “our house that is 100 yards from the QuickTrip next to the Mall.” But all of a sudden one day he started asking me all these questions about bears. How big are bears? Is a bear bigger than Daddy? Bigger than our house? If a bear was in our yard, would it chase us fast? Could we hide in the trees? Mom, are there bears on our street? There’s no bears outside, right Mom? Right?

Uh, no. THERE ARE NO BEARS.

Just about every time I open the door he needs some reassurance that there are no bears to be found in our neighborhood. I let him know yesterday that I was going out to get the mail and he barely looked up from his SuperWhy show as he said, “Ok. But there’s no bears, right Mom?”

“No Bug, there are still no bears.”

When Bug exits the car to walk the 25 feet to our front door after an errand or summer preschool or something, he has a ritual chant he has developed that I’m guessing he uses to soothe himself about the potential bear attack that he might face. In the same fashion as a crowd chants “air ball, air ball” at a basketball game Bug sings “No bears, no bears” all the way into the house. (And Lorso’s family will understand why that made me smile the first time I heard it.)
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Because Bug is now in a new classroom for his summer preschool program there are new and different fantastic toys to be played with. This includes a giant tub of dinosaurs. And so Bug hath declareth: “Mommy, I play with dinosaurs now. I LOVE dinosaurs. I don’t like cars anymore.” This is a problem, since he has 451 Matchbox cars currently residing in his room. Is it wrong of me to tell him that dinosaurs rode in cars? Because dinosaurs cost like $3.99 at Target and Matchbox cars are $.97. I’m just asking.
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Bug has decided that it is no longer sufficient to call me Mommy. I must now be a Mommy Something, like a Mommy Bird or a Mommy Cat. And he becomes Baby Bird or Baby Cat. It was cute at first, and then it just got weird. One day I was Mommy Panda Bear all day, and then Mommy Skunk and Mommy Pig. Then yesterday morning I hear the slap slap slap of his feet run up to my bed and he nuzzles in close to my face and says, “Good morning Mommy Chicken!”

Make it stop.

2 comments

1 Darth { 07.01.08 at 1:23 pm }

On the other hand, if you buy him a few (preferably carnivorous) dinosaurs, they should keep the neighborhood bear-free for the near future at least.

2 Sara P { 07.01.08 at 10:25 pm }

Does Bug watch The Colbert Report? perhaps that’s where he gets his fear of bears…I mean it would make sense you know?
And I always believe that dinosaurs drove cars…watch Jurassic Park! They at least eat people from them…that’s close enough.

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