Posts from — June 2008

It took two weeks of assembling the right photos, some major mapping out, three trips to Walgreens on Saturday for last minute photo and frame size changes, and a few uttered cuss words (that we SPELLED, obviously), but we finally finished:

We could have bought some fancy art (or at least a poster of some fancy art) to hang up there on our living room wall, but I thought about all the photos I’ve taken over the last year or so and how much I’ve enjoyed taking them and thought “Well, shoot. If Maria Sharapova can do it, then so can I.”

And so I did.

“Mommy, I have to go pee pee.” (This must always be announced.)

“Ok, knock yourself out.”

(He leaves. Then, from the bathroom:)

“I’M PULLING DOWN MY PANTS.”

(pause)

“NOW I’M PEE-PEEING.”

(pause)

“MOM, IT’S YELLOW.”

(pause)

“I’M DONE.”

(pause)

“I SNAPPED MY PANTS MYSELF.”

(pause)

“I’M GETTING THE STOOL NOW, MOM.”

(pause)

“NOW I’M WASHING MY HANDS.”

(pause)

“OH MOM! I FORGOT TO FLUSH!”

(pause, flush)

“I’M GONNA TURN OUT THE LIGHT.”

(He re-enters the room where I am.)

“Mom, I went pee pee.”

“Yes, Bug, so I heard.”

Right, so here’s the thing: I’m not the biggest fan of the pseudonym Ladybug for our baby girl.

I think ladybugs themselves are the epitome of cuteness, especially in the bug world. (Though let’s be honest - it doesn’t take a whole lot of effort to be considered the most adorable insect there is. Bugs are just creepy and crawly and generally not picked for Homecoming Queen, am I right?) (Also, I fully realize I have named my son Bug on this website, but I think I took about .5 seconds to choose it off the top of my head, and hadn’t anticipated the COMPLETE AND UTTER BLOWOUT SUCCESS of my blog and if I had know that millions would know him as such, I may have reconsidered the nickname.) But I don’t have a particular fondness for ladybugs per se, and also I am kind of afraid that everyone who knows me in real life is now going to buy Ladybugged paraphernalia for her room/body. (Dear my Grandmother who I know already bought a ladybug book - I think that that is a totally acceptable and great present and hope I don’t appear an ungrateful schmuck. Love, Rachel)

Also, I would like to wax feminist for a sec and just say, isn’t that kind of like WOman being named from man? I’m just saying.

This girl needs a blog name that is just for her.

Now, when it came to her real name, I was funny about people suggesting names for our kid, because I felt like even if I loved the name I didn’t want someone else to have picked it. I wanted to be able to say that the Lorso and I named our own kids with our very own noggins. And so we did! Hooray!

But Internets, y’all can totally suggest me some blog nicknames.

Of course, I can’t guarantee that I will like anything you suggest, because I am a picky and fickle person (fickly?) - yes, even about things even as trite as a blog nickname, SO LAY OFF ALREADY.

But if I do decide to choose your suggestion, you’ll get to go down in Yestertime history! Which is a long and noble history known by tens! Think of the notoriety! You can put it on your C.V.!

So let the “Give My Baby Girl a Blog Pseudonym Contest” begin. And once we have a winner we’ll smash a bottle of champagne on our laptop before its maiden post.

We went to see Eddie Izzard last night, who just might be my favorite comedian of all time.

At one point I was laughing so hard I had to close my eyes and take deep breaths so as not to start sobbing. That line between laughing and crying gets paper thin when you’re almost 6 months pregnant and have had very little sleep. Also, my maternity pants almost cut off my circulation at the waist during the two hour show. Of all the ways I thought I might die, I never considered death by pants.

But really, if that’s the way you’re going to go, a Eddie Izzard show is the place to do it I think. He’d probably attend your funeral and maybe even speak.

Now that would be one hell of a eulogy.

I would like to announce….we have picked a name for our girl!

Not that it matters ONE WHIP to you, Internet, since I don’t use real names on here, but I’m excited nonetheless.

But also, for people we know in real life we’re keeping it a secret until she’s born. I am way more into this than I probably should be. IT’S JUST SO FUN.

Naming a person is a totally huge deal though, and it’s nice to have made the decision and to rest on our laurels until she’s here. Because, you know, there is absolutely nothing else we have to do to prepare for her arrival except rest on our laurels.

Ooooh - Laurel…that would be a nice name. Hang on a slim second - maybe we’ve made a huge mistake! Back to the drawing board!

Nope, just joshin’. She is already who she is. And I haven’t seen her face yet (except for the fierce Terminator x-ray eyeball shots that we saw at the ultrasound) but I think the name fits her just right.

A name for our girl! Hurrah!

(P.S. The writer of this blog is not above cash bribes for information.)