Loose stool

For weeks now, the Battle of the Stool has been waging.

After the initial hard part of potty training had been conquered (the actual using of the commode), there were still little details that had to be taught so that eventually I could just say “Go potty” and not have to move my duff one inch off of the couch. I wanted this to happen sooner rather than later, so as to lengthen the amount of time I would not have to deal with other people’s excretions. (Oh, except my job kind of ruins that. Crap. Pun intended.)

We purchased a stool so that Bug could reach the sink for hand washing (and actually so that he could reach the toilet also – we have a freakishly high throne), we installed a light switch extender so that he could flip on the light himself, we taught him how to flush, wash his own hands, etc., etc. All these things were going swell except for one thing: after lugging the stool over to the toilet and using it, he would call through the house “I NEED HELP WITH THE STOOL!” because he was convinced that he could not perform the same action in reverse. This baffled me. And also drove me apeshit.

“Bug, you can move the stool. You just moved it to the toilet.”

“But I need help.”

“But you Just. Did. It.”

“But I need help.”

“But it’s the same thing you just did! Just back this way!”

“But I Can’t. Do. It. You do it, Mama.”

Every time he went to the bathroom we did this.

Finally, I’d had enough. I decided it was time for an intervention.

After his call for help one day I walked to the bathroom and calmly said, “Bug, you can move that stool. I’ve seen you do it. You are a strong boy, and also a smart boy, and I know you can figure this out. I’ll stand here to talk you through it, but I’m not going to do it for you.”

“BUT I NEED HELP!!”

“And I will help you. But I will no longer do it for you.”

And I stood there.

And he stood there.

Finally, I said, “Ok, I’m going to go back to the kitchen. Call me if you need help!”

A few minutes later I heard THUNK. And then the water in the sink turned on.

When he came out of the bathroom, I said, “Bug you did it! What a great job! I knew you could-”

“Mama, NO.” He cut me off. “It is not happy.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. But it makes me smile, because you tried hard to do something and you did it!”

“No. Don’t smile. It is not a happy thing!”

So with my straightest face I then said, “Ok, well, then I am seriously glad you learned how to move the stool.”

Later, when Lorso came home, he sent Bug to wash his hands before dinner and Bug started to go, but then he rushed back and with all the eagerness in the world informed him, “Daddy, when I was a BABY, I used to call and say ‘Mommy! I need help with the stool!’ but now I’m big. I move the stool MYSELF.”

From baby to big in under 2 hours. Amazing.

stool mover

5 comments

1 Bebe { 04.14.08 at 4:30 pm }

Tell Bug I am seriously proud of him!

2 Ginny { 04.14.08 at 9:27 pm }

I was just thinking how seriously proud I am of Bug’s mom. You done growed him up a bit more!

3 Andy { 04.14.08 at 11:13 pm }

Stool rules!

4 Ben { 04.15.08 at 11:53 am }

Great post. I too am proud of Bug. I must say, however, that I was misled by your title. I was hoping that someone in your household was having the same problem that I am these days. Oh well. 😉

5 christine vardaros { 05.02.08 at 1:10 pm }

that has to be the cutest blog post i’ve ever read. Thanks!

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