Letter to Mr. B. V. Crankypants

Dearest Bug,

It is freakishly warm today, which is all kinds of awesome. It is so nice out that it almost ALMOST makes me wish you didn’t need a rest time and we could just be out and about enjoying some rays. I am a more sensible girl than this though and understand that putting off resting now makes you turn into Baron Von Crankypants right about dinner time.

So for now you’re sitting in your bed singing Skinamarinkydinkydink in a stage whisper napping, and I will soon start my ten jillionth load of urine soaked clothes to wash. We’ve been through a lot together you and me, but I gotta tell you this potty training stuff is a whole new territory for you AND for me. I think you would agree that it’s been a weird ride so far. For example, you’ll go a whole day with dry pants and the very next day you’ll wet your pants four times before lunch. What gives, little dude? And what is your deal with pooping? Because I am here to tell you, underwear was not invented to be a “handy catcher” for poop. That’s what TOILETS are for. Yes, poop goes in the toilet just like pee! God made it so and it is right and good! Perhaps you fear for the safety of your beloved poo once it is swirled down the black hole. Let me ease your fears. Your poo wants to go to that place. It is happy there! It’s with its own kind! So just let go and LET YOUR POOP BE FREE!

It is hard work you’re doing though, trying to learn how to make it in this crazy diaper-free big kid world. It isn’t easy. And I don’t know how long it will be before this feeling goes away, but I want you to know that every time I see you lug over your 50 pound step stool, climb up, pull down your drawers and let your stream flow, I think, “That’s my kid! Using the potty!” And I’m so proud I could bust.

So I guess we’ll just keep on keepin’ on, little man. Because one day all of this will be a distant memory. A wet, stinky, frustrating distant memory.

But I’ll be nostalgic all the same.


Your Crazy Mom

March 3, 2008   2 Comments