I’m sitting on the couch next to a suspicious crusty stain on my left and a sleeping suspicious crusty Bug on my right. I am noticing suspicious crusty stains lately, (LIKE THE OTHER ONE I JUST NOW SEE ON MY SLEEVE, GROSS) because Bug has developed pink eye, and it is goop central all up in here. Pink eye is highly contagious they say, but even if it weren’t, I’m guessing the chances of getting it go way up when someone wipes the gunk out of their eye and SMEARS IT ON YOUR FACE.

Since the typing of the first paragraph in this post, Bug has roused, whimpered mightily, and fallen back asleep on top of my right arm, forcing me to hunt and peck with my left hand. That sentence took me a good ten minutes to type.

When he wakes up for good we’ll get to administer, for the first time, his pink eye meds, otherwise known as THE DROPS OF DESTRUCTION. I’ve seen grown men tremble at the thought of anything coming remotely close to their eyeball, and now I get to put not one, but two drops in a small child’s eye 3 times a day for five days.

Good times.