Don’t even get me started on what happens when I can’t find my Chapstick.

Bug was finally in bed last night, and the Lorso had a project to work on, which left me a couple of blissful, quiet hours to spend time with my best friend, the Internet. But when I plopped down on the couch and opened the laptop, instead of good times perusing You Tube and laughing with the Fuggers, I got a Dear John letter. It went like this:

Not Found.
You are not connected to the Internet. The server may be busy, or down for maintenance.
Please try again in a few moments.

I laughed, kind of nervously, and thought, “Silly Internet, always joking!” and tried it again. BUT NO. The internet was broken.

I seriously think I sat there for about 10 minutes in a daze, not really knowing what I should do. Then I told the Lorso to fix it (and I don’t know what they’re teaching over there at that seminary, but apparently repairing complicated computer issues isn’t it). Then I called the internet provider, which “due to technical difficulties” couldn’t take my call at that time.

Then I got kind of twitchy and paced around the living room, muttering to myself. “No internet? No internet. No internet? No internet!” In my head, I think I decided that doing such ridiculous things as watching TV, say, or reading a book would be admitting I had given up hope that the Internet and I could rekindle our relationship, so I sat vigilant at the monitor, sorting through old photos and playing Marble Blast (who knew our Mac had games?) so that I could keep checking to see if it was working. After half an hour, I finally folded it shut in desolation. I found a book, sighed, gave the laptop one last woeful glance, and opened the book up.

I read for a while, and incredulously I found that I was relaxed, cozy, and quieted for bedtime in a pleasant way I hadn’t expected. I thought, “You know, I really am spending too much time on that computer. It must have been a sign that I needed a break. Yes. I am a better person now, after this lesson! I will go to bed – early! – and for once not have the busy thoughts of the World Wide Web on my mind as I drift into a dreamless sleep.”

I got ready for bed, and as I went to get in, I decided to open the computer one last time, you know, for old time’s sake. “We have some good times, don’t we Internet,” I said, uh, in my head, not out loud like a crazy person would. “But I’ve decided that we should spend a little more time apart now. It’s really better for me, and – WAIT A SECOND!!! THE INTERNET’S BACK UP, LORSO! IT WORKS! HOT DAMN, WE’RE COOKING WITH GAS NOW!!” The book was flung aside, and I spent the next hour and a half, perusing my heart out.

Eh, early bedtimes are overrated anyway.

3 comments

1 Rebekah { 12.04.07 at 4:32 pm }

who said you could write stories about my life on your blog?!?

2 Bean { 12.04.07 at 5:10 pm }

Rachel always asks me to fix the internet, too. I tell her I only got a 3 on the computer ord, but she’ll have none of it.

3 adamjcopeland { 12.05.07 at 8:18 am }

In Scotland, when the internet goes down you get the privilege of waiting on hold for hours to speak to a polite Indian who can’t do a thing about it except log your complaint. Our internet was down for a week, yes, A WEEK! After five days, I quit my job and decided to fly home to a civilized country with internet. But then I couldn’t book a flight because I didn’t have internet. So I’m still stuck here. On the upside, the UK boasts more cell phones than people so they can phone each other to complain about not having internet. http://adamcopeland.wordpress.com

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