Posts from — November 2007

To get Bug (and me) through our 6 hour trip to my parent’s house – sans Daddy-o – I kept telling him how many “fives” it would be until the next marker on the trip. Like, “Oh, I think there’s only 4 fives until we get to Chick-Fil-A!” And he’d say, “This many?” and flash his five little fingers four times.

And then.

I say, “Bug! Only five minutes until we’re in a new state and we can beep the horn! Just one five!” Bug grins and pops up a hand with his fingers splayed. So I mirror his gesture and say, “Yep! Five!”

His hand comes down immediately and he says sternly, “No, Mama – two fives is TEN.”

And that, my friends, was two year old multiplication. MY KID IS A GENIUS.

Then, a little while later, from the back seat comes….

“Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, fourteen, nineteen, sixteen, TWENTY!”

Roger that. We’re gonna downgrade that genius level to a really smart with occasional flashes of brilliance.

Just before this video was taken, Bug consumed some Halloween candy. See if you can spot when the sugar kicks in.

We have owned a scooter for almost a year now, and I have never ridden it.

Until yesterday.

Did I care that the scooter was more suitable for a 6 foot 3 man than for my 5 foot 3-ness? No! Did I worry about the fact that it weighed as much as a small cow? Not me! Was I frightened of it’s speeds of up to 35 mph, downhill? Huh uh. I am reckless and daring like that.

Here I go, out of the driveway:

I arrive from my journey, master and champion of our fourth of a mile street loop (looking both ways before accelerating at the stop sign, of course. Maybe I classify more as “badass lite”):

I am badass enough however, to ride one handed. Oh yeah. :

And now, a montage of the finish:

And the dismount:

Fortunately for me, Lorso was kind enough to stop taking pictures at this point so that he could retrieve my body from under the scooter after it fell on top of me.

So much for badass.

Starting now, I have one whole week off of work. With pay! So instead of wiping 50 noses and 50 butts, I will now only have to wipe one nose and one butt! Bliss. This number of course excludes my own nose and butt. Just in case you were wondering.

Wow, I really didn’t mean to go there. This post is going downhill fast.

Anyhoo, it’s good that the break is here now, because the kids have started looking a little less charming to me in the last few weeks. Although they can still make me laugh. One little guy came up to me recently and informed me that he needed his coffee, and another little girl told me just today that her little brother’s name was “Ca ca”.

So there are bright moments.

And those bright moments almost make up for the gruesome ones, like the time we discovered the little girl who had removed her diaper and was finger painting herself with her own poo.

Actually, no, nothing is really going to make up for that one.