Dear Jerks,

Sorry to interrupt your cell phone conversation, but if you don’t mind, I’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t lay on your horn for half an hour to try to get me to turn in front of the oncoming semi as I sit in front of you with my blinker on. I know you are in a hurry. However, the way the world works is, if I’m in front, I get to decide when to go. Maybe someday when you have a small human being in your car whose life you’d kind of like to protect, you might make the same cautious choices that I do. Until then, kindly shut the hell up.

Sincerely,

ME